No Soup For You!
No Soup For You! comedy stories
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randyjohnson
randyjohnson Community member
Autoplay OFF   •   8 months ago
People loved my soup but they hated me. Everybody referred to me as the Soup Nazi.

No Soup For You!

People loved my soup but they hated me.

Everybody referred to me as the Soup Nazi.

I was strict with people and they feared me because I'm scary.

I scream my head off, that's why I've never been able to marry.

Everybody knew something that was certainly true.

When people pissed me off, I yelled "No soup for you!"

I refused to sell soup to a woman for kissing her boyfriend while standing in line.

My rules were going to be obeyed, I don't care that enforcing them was unkind.

I refused to sell soup to a bald man because he wanted free bread.

When a woman found my recipes in my armoire, I wanted to be dead.

Just because I treated her like dirt, she published them and put me out of business.

I had to close my restaurant and return to Argentina, my life truly is a mess.

I demanded discipline, breaking my rules was something I didn't allow.

I will one day return to America and slaughter Elaine like a cow!

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