My name is Luigi and I inherited a mansion that is haunted.
But when Grandpa died, he didn't leave me what I wanted.
I'd hoped to receive his cuckoo clock, that's what I wanted the most.
But the old fogey left me a house that is haunted by a lot of ghosts.
As I find keys to unlock the doors, the ghosts continue to get meaner.
I met a man who taught me how to suck up ghosts with a vacuum cleaner.
The man's name is Professor E. Gadd.
He has never been laid and that's sad.
He also taught me to put the ghosts in a machine that turns them back into paintings.
I constantly get frightened and it keeps getting harder to prevent myself from fainting.
Ghosts! Ghosts! Ghosts! That's all I can see.
They killed Grandpa and now they intend to kill me.
I even had to fight a baby ghost who turned me small.
I don't like living in this mansion, I don't like it at all.
The ghosts somehow put my brother in a painting and now he's trapped.
I'm going to give away my mansion, let somebody else deal with this crap.
(This poem is based on the 'Luigi's Mansion' game that was manufactured by Nintendo.)