Federal Offense
Federal Offense comedy stories
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randyjohnson
randyjohnson Community member
Autoplay OFF   •   4 months ago
The people who I know say what I did made absolutely no sense. I worked for the post office and I committed a federal offense.

Federal Offense

The people who I know say what I did made absolutely no sense.

I worked for the post office and I committed a federal offense.

A man gave me some money and bought a money order.

I had no idea that I was being recorded by a camcorder.

He gave me twelve hundred dollars and I put every bit of it in my pocket.

When the door of my cell was closed, it was scary to see the sheriff lock it.

My cellmate beats me up, spits on me and he's even guilty of committing rape.

And because I'm locked in this cell, there is absolutely no chance of escape.

The days are very long as I sit in my cell and linger.

It didn't help things at my trial when I gave the judge the finger.

I'll be in jail for years because of the decision I chose.

The judge threw his gavel at me and broke my nose.

Trust me when I tell you that it has been a terrifying ordeal.

If you work for the post office, you'd better damn well not steal.

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