My stepson used my phone to commit credit card fraud.
When I was done with the little punk, he almost met God.
He would call people and pretend to be a debt collector.
I decked him and then here came his mama and I also decked her.
He was getting people to give him their credit card numbers.
I hit him so hard that he was out cold, as cold as a cucumber.
The cops thought I was guilty and they placed me under arrest.
When it came to my stepson, I took care of that damn pest.
I got out on bail and I kicked my stepson's ass, he was dead meat.
Then I tied his leg to my car and dragged him down the street.
His mother was furious and she tried to punch me with her fists.
But I ducked every time she tried to punch me and she missed.
She wasn't much of a fighter, she needed a lot of practice.
I swung to defend myself and I knocked her upside a cactus.
When she got pricked by that cactus, it must've hurt like hell.
She thought she could kick my ass but she was bound to fail.
The police finally got smart and arrested the right one.
And now on visitors day, my wife and I visit my stepson.