Strange Life of A Cat - Chapter 13 (Part2)
Strange Life of A Cat - Chapter 13 (Part2) comedy stories
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Yi Xin saw that the sofa no longer had any room left, so he carried over a chair from the dining table. The three boys who were sitting on the sofa stared in unison at Yi Xin, who was about to sit down.

Strange Life of A Cat - Chapter 13 (Part2)

Yi Xin saw that the sofa no longer had any room left, so he carried over a chair from the dining table.

The three boys who were sitting on the sofa stared in unison at Yi Xin, who was about to sit down.

Their stares baffled Yi Xin because they were looking at him as if he'd done something so terrible it could offend heaven.

Zheng Tan saw this scene and gave a long sigh. He jumped off the sofa, went to the fridge, and jumped up to pull open the fridge door.

"Wow~~."

"In the end, Ash was the one who knew his manners!"

"To even know about hosting guests. My friend Mr. Yi, even a cat knows their manners compared to you."

Yi Xin, who'd been criticized, was stunned. "…" If this were my house, I'd understand, but the problem is that this is Boss Jiao's house.

Even when this father has but a single bag of snacks, this father is cautious; this father is a guest too!

The strongest one of the kids moved the fastest, and in a blink of an eye he was digging around inside the freezer with much familiarity.

"Xiong Xiong, I want the mango flavored one! Last time I was here, I saw Jiao Yuan hide one in the very back. Just search around a bit!"

"I want the apple flavor!"

Yi Xin's face twitched. This was simply the act of devils invading a village, wasn't it?[1]

Xiong Xiong used his chubby hands to dig around inside of the freezer until he managed to pull three popsicles out.

Seeing the three children gnawing on the popsicles as they sat on the sofa, Yi Xin asked, "My three little friends have came over because…?"

"My grandpa said that there were people here, and we also noticed that Jiao Yuan hadn't come to school for several days, so we came over to ask about it.

" The child who'd rebuked Yi Xin for not knowing his manners replied.

"Eh? Your grandpa?"

"My grandpa is Lan Tiesu."

Yi Xin: "…" He had trouble maintaining his smile.

Lan Tiesu was Old Geezer Lan's name.

Of these three children, one was Professor Lan's grandson, Lan Tianzhu. One was one of the chemistry department's professor's son, Su An.

The last and sturdiest looking one was called Xiong Xiong.

Zheng Tan didn't know what his background was, just that his family had some powerful sponsors, and that they were very close to the university's president.

All Yi Xin knew about his boss was that they'd left the province for business, but he didn't know any of the details.

So when he was explaining this to them, he just told them that the Jiao Family had some things to do and that they'd be gone for the week.

"I see." Xiong Xiong wasn't that happy after hearing Yi Xin's explanation, but it wasn't often that he came by. His mother had recently stopped letting him eat very many cold sweets.

If he walked out like this and was caught, he'd be scolded, therefore it was better if he left after he finished his popsicle.

After thinking about it for a bit, Xiong Xiong asked Yi Xin, "Are you in the life sciences department? I have a question."

Yi Xin sat upright. "Go ahead."

"I heard that, if you don't eat breakfast, your body will reabsorb stool.[2] Is this true?"

Zheng Tan was lying on the sofa with his eyes closed to nap, but he perked his ears to listen.

Su An and Lan Tianzhu looked at Yi Xin with curiosity, waiting for his response.

The smile on Yi Xin's face somewhat fell apart, but he still treated the question educationally. After thinking about it for a bit, he replied, "Strictly speaking, this isn't true.

After food enters the small intestines, nutrients are digested and absorbed from it.

The remaining waste then enters the large intestines and is discharged successively in the form of both urination and defecation.

However, the large intestine isn't like the small intestines; it doesn't have the capacity to absorb things. At most, it can absorb moisture and things like inorganic salts.

Therefore, even if you don't eat breakfast, the nasty stuff in your large intestine won't be reabsorbed. This is why the what you've said is incorrect."

"I just knew that my mom was scaring me again!" Xiong Xiong angrily retorted.

"You can debate it with your mom." Lan Tianzhu suggested.

"No way, I'll be forced to kneel on a washboard." Xiong Xiong sounded disheartened.

"Kneeling on a washboard is nothing. Two days ago I was forced to kneel on a keyboard, and wasn't allowed to get up until the spacebar had fallen off.

" Su An, who was gnawing on his popsicle to the side, said.

"What for?"

"I wanted to test whether aqua regia could really dissolve gold, so I threw my mom's gold leaf earrings inside and it worked."

Zheng Tan, Yi Xin: "…" This failure of a child!

"Because of this, my dad forbid me from ever going to his lab again, and my mom took away my allowance for a month." Su An humphed.

"Actually…" Lan Tianzhu rubbed his chin, thinking. "Isn't corporal punishment of children against the law? I'm pretty sure that you two can call 110."[3]

"It's no use, I've tried it before." Xiong Xiong angrily replied. "After I called them, my mom made me kneel on an even bigger washboard."

Zheng Tan, Yi Xin: "…"

"Damn it, kids don't have human rights!" Xiong Xiong said sorrowfully.

Lan Tianzhu shot him a glance. "Watch your language."

"Damn it, kids don't have human rights!" Xiong Xiong said once again.

Zheng Tan, Yi Xin: "…"

As Xiong Xiong said this, he pulled up the legs of his trousers, allowing the group of them to see the red marks that had been left on his legs.

Zheng Tan, Yi Xin: "!!"

"Your mom's so brutal!" Both Lan Tianzhu and Su An choked on their saliva.

"Nuh-uh," Xiong Xiong said happily.

"I pinched myself until I was red like this, so it'd look like my tears were more realistic! My mom's really soft-hearted, so she reduced my one hour of kneeling to fifteen minutes~"

Zheng Tan, Yi Xin: "…" What the hell are you happy for! What's there to be happy about?

Listening to the three rotten kids chatter amongst themselves, Zheng Tan felt that, when he was their age, he was really freaking naive.

As for Yi Xin, he was feeling rage inside himself at this moment; kids these days… how the hell are they even raised?

After the three brats had finished eating their popsicles, they reluctantly grabbed their backpacks to leave. Before they left, they warned Yi Xin and Zheng Tan.

"Recently, there's been thieves in the quad, so be careful.

There's already been several families stolen from, so don't lose your door card, and don't let people that you don't recognize into the building."

After the three children left, Zheng Tan and Yi Xin finally felt that the world had calmed down.

After boiling water for the cat, drying its fur, rubbing it down with medicine, and even entertaining guests… after all this, he was both mentally and physically exhausted.

Yi Xin resolutely decided that when Boss Jiao got back, he'd definitely ask for a raise! Definitely!

Zheng Tan didn't care what Yi Xin thought. He was tired right now, and these past two days had been crazy enough. Remembering Wei Leng's words, Zheng Tan decided that he'd go for a run tomorrow.

By eight o'clock that night, Zheng Tan had already gone to bed, which was extremely rare for him.

Yi Xin used Boss Jiao's computer to finish revising his thesis. When he looked at the time, it was already two o'clock in the morning.

He stretched his body, turned off the computer, and went to sleep on the sofa in the living room.

As he passed Gu Youzi's room, Yi Xin peeked inside, and thanks to the light from the living room, he could see the child-size bed that was in the room.

Inside it, a large Garfield plushie lay in the center of the crib, which the black cat was currently laying on top of.

One of his legs was curled up, while the other was pressed horizontally over the cheap biscuit-shaped face of Garfield. He was sleeping soundly.

Yi Xin's lips twitched. What a terrible sleeping posture!

In his dreams, Zheng Tan dreamt that he gained incredible strength and that he captured the thief.

Footnotes:

[1]The main reference is to Japanese soldiers in WW2 pillaging the village taking whatever they want. There is also a game and film about this.

[2]In Chinese, earwax and shit is basically the same word. Therefore this word here has a double meaning. Xiong Xiong means “earwax”, but Yi Xin takes it to mean “poop”

[3]911 in American Terms

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