Doug the jokester

@douggie

funny jokes i found online



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following
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followers
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douggie
douggie
Doug the jokester . 6 years ago
Peik Lin's Great Advice
Rachel: My boyfriend is too tall for me to kiss him, what should I do?
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douggie
douggie
Doug the jokester . 6 years ago
Only after it comes out of the dryer is it laundry
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douggie
douggie
Doug the jokester . 6 years ago
[sushi restaurant]
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douggie
douggie
Doug the jokester . 6 years ago
If your significant other asks you if you’ve been to a specific place and you have but with your ex, no you fucking have not
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douggie
douggie
Doug the jokester . 6 years ago
Tinder to add new gestures for matching:
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douggie
douggie
Doug the jokester . 6 years ago
The Triple Dog D.A.R.E
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douggie
douggie
Doug the jokester . 6 years ago
As I ordered my beer at the bar, I gave the bartender a once-over
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douggie
douggie
Doug the jokester . 6 years ago
DOCTOR: Her foot is going to be ok
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douggie
douggie
Doug the jokester . 6 years ago
Talent Agent: I have a headliner but need an opener, you available?
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douggie
douggie
Doug the jokester . 6 years ago
TOM HANKS: So after the 1 hour long pitch, this is it?
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douggie
douggie
Doug the jokester . 6 years ago
Wife: Well, do you like it? Your dad and I drove to the middle of nowhere to get it
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douggie
douggie
Doug the jokester . 6 years ago
Me: Sooo MRI, tell me, is there a Mrs
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douggie
douggie
Doug the jokester . 6 years ago
Cop: Do you know how fast you were going, sir?
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douggie
douggie
Doug the jokester . 6 years ago
Me: *out of breath after my figure skating routine, awaiting judge’s scores*
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douggie
douggie
Doug the jokester . 6 years ago
Upon re-listening to “Hound Dog” by Elvis,
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douggie
douggie
Doug the jokester . 6 years ago
A League of Their Own (1992):
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douggie
douggie
Doug the jokester . 6 years ago
[phone rings]
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douggie
douggie
Doug the jokester . 6 years ago
Ponder the orange
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douggie
douggie
Doug the jokester . 6 years ago
When I can't open a jar I think "how pathetic are you gonna look asking a male neighbor for help?"
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douggie
douggie
Doug the jokester . 6 years ago
Women are from Venus
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