Yes, this is my story, the person who is suffering from depression disorder. This monster kills me from inside. Always, I start my day with new hope but it all goes in vain.
At the end of the day, I stuck with all the bad thoughts. Some are due to my misfortune and some I have made on my own. These things make my situation worse.
Crying and hiding things from my loved ones is the only option left for me. Now, I learned how to keep a distance from my friends.
Now, I do not want to keep in contact with them. I am more afraid of public places. I just want to live in a quiet place where there is no one. Not even the presence of mosquitoes.
Slowly and slowly all my limbs are breaking, not physically but mentally.
Now, I do not even remember the names of some people. I feel as if I am suffering from Alzheimer's. But I don't want to show this side of mine to the world. For the world, this is not me.
Yes, I have a dual personality. It takes me a year to figure out this thing. I think and think and think again until I get tired of thinking. In my mind, many thoughts have taken their place.
Some are new, some are as old as my grandmother's bangles. I restricted myself in many ways. Only my thoughts have an entry pass to enter my world.
Through experiences, I learned, everything happens because of me. I am the culprit, the sole culprit. But the best thing is that I am not afraid of losing people because I have already lost many.
It's like a habit for me. It doesn't matter to me anymore. You know, I'm a big liar and I lied a few seconds ago. I am a loser, a big loser.
I'm afraid to be happy because I don't want something bad to happen. I thought worse circumstances will always make me strong in the end but it completely ruined me.
I want to fly, a fly high, but I broke my wings on my own. Also, I hate my brain because my mind is always biased. It recalls me of bad memories over and over again.
Looks like someone has pressed the replay button. Still, I stop my mind from thinking about those negative thoughts. I always argue for this but every time my mind wins the battle.
And I end up blaming myself.
Don't Give Up
Believe it or not, yes, it is the story of a girl or a boy like you who is going through depression. It's not your fault.
In terms of medical science, it is a mood disorder like any other medical issue such as asthma or fever. You have to fight against it. Seek help from your friends or your family.
If nothing works, you can consult a doctor.
To overcome this, you need to understand that these things are temporary. There is always a sunrise after a sunset. So, try to get out of it.
There is a beautiful world out there, even beyond your imagination. Do not let those thoughts overpower you. You are strong. Keep that feeling awake. Try to find happiness in small things.
Try to call your friends and loved ones without thinking. Start applying these things to your life and you will definitely get positive results from it.
You are priceless and therefore as our life. Be happy.