Absurdly Apathic
Absurdly Apathic mental illness stories

usagi Socially awkward swamp witch.
Autoplay OFF   •   2 years ago
Just a free form poem on how I'm feeling lately - trying to figure out how to stop and pause, enjoy the moment, or break my apathy.

Absurdly Apathic

My life has become a string of never ending run on sentences creating pages of paragraphs lacking any kind of indentation or distinction

like a Virginia Woolf novel where the plot is lost and sometimes found again within the iconic feminist literary theory plodding on and on within the lines of every other page

I yearn for the pause in punctuation the sense of purpose when ending a sentence with that often overlooked dot

but there is no full stop to be found no comma to catch my breath on or semi-colon to separate the days

at this point I would even welcome the abrupt stop of an exclamation mark to divide my moments into emotions

something other than this doldrum sea of apathy where occasionally the sky rains question marks for me to row with into the insanity just beyond the horizon

where everyone bellows out their stream of conscious nonsense damning pronouns points of view and punctuation

trying to make meaning from the meandering thought processes that never stop at train stations but always seem to pick up new passengers along the tangent tracks laid with lightning speed

a new one is hammered into existence every time I breathe

but I have no idea where this train is chugging or where my boat is rowing so my transit treks in the in between caught going somewhere in the nowhere

next to a leafless tree waiting cyclically for Godot wondering if this belt is strong enough and why there is a strange hat on my head

the label on the inside says ‘Joy’ but I’ve never met her before and have to question why I have her hat with the label that is too obviously ironic because all of my clothes are labeled ‘Morose’

and the longer I look at the labels the longer the spaces between the letters grow creating more room for the run on sentences to shamelessly slither through

and the o’s are looking more and more like an oasis the further apart they stretch they coyly imitate the periods the pauses in time I’m trying to find somewhere within this grammatical nightmare swirling in my mind

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