Why I Don't Give A Sh!t About The Super Bowl
Why I Don't Give A Sh!t About The Super Bowl games stories
  •   1 comment

tbanarchy Sometimes serious, mostly snarky author.
Autoplay OFF   •   10 months ago
And, yeah, Tom Brady, I'm looking at YOU (& especially your HOT wife!)!

Why I Don't Give A Sh!t About The Super Bowl

by tbanarchy

I don't give a shit about the Super Bowl since I don't give a shit about football (as I believe I've posted about once or twice before).

The only Super Bowl I give a shit about is my toilet bowl.

The Tidy Bowl Man is more of a "hero" to me than Tom effing Brady.

Seriously, fellas, this is that Tom Brady's hot-ass wife!

I also DON'T give a shit about the halftime show and/or the commercials, Coliwhich, like everything else, has become overtly political. Right, Colin?

The last SB halftime show I gave a shit about was the one where Janet Jackson's boob popped out and, of course, the media pundits all went utterly apeshit (although you couldn't actually see JJ's boob).

Just like they did with Miley Cyrus & her by-now-infamous twerking.

As for the commercials, the only commercial I would be interested in seeing is one the late Bill Hicks came up with.

It would show a fully-naked woman spread-eagled with the caption: "Eat Snickers!" As Bill noted, I'd be eating an assload of Snickers!

I'd also maybe-just maybe!-give a shit about the Super Bowl if the losers all got beheaded.

Or maybe-just maybe!-I'd at least give a shit about the much-ballyhooed halftime show if Lady Gaga performed buck-ass naked! ("This land is your land!" indeed!)

I know that would be MUCH better than watching that Maroon 5 or Moron 5 or whatever the hell they call themselves.

So to all those who have an orgasm at the mere mention of the Super Bowl, well, I don't give a shit about THAT either. #SorryNotSorry

As for myself, I'm going to do the SAME thing during this Super Bowl as I've done during EVERY Super Bowl.

And, when I get done jerking off (probably to pictures of Tom Brady's hot-ass wife!), I believe I'll have something MORE to show for it!

Some, of course, say they like watching the SB because they enjoy eating all the food. Again, as for myself, I don't need to watch a bunch of jockstrap-wearing dudes groping around in the mud for a ball to EAT.

Just saying!

Speaking of football, one thing that has always gotten to me about football fans is how a lot of them will mock "nerds" who go to Comic-Con dressed up as their favorite superhero . . .

While many of THEM will go to a football and/or some other game dressed in a COSTUME. And the "difference" is?

And, while I find watching football about as "exciting" as watching snails fuck (not that I've ever done that, BTW!), I will say I do, uh-hum, enjoy watching women's beach volleyball.

Now that's what I call a SPORT!

I mean, I'd MUCH rather watch a couple of female volleyball players slapping each other on the ass than some jock slapping Tom Brady on the behind!

Of course, I wouldn't mind watching Tom Brady's hot-ass wife getting slapped on the fanny, amirite, fellas!

Yeah, I know. SEXIST!!!!

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