One night I was walking down the street towards my place when I got a sudden bout of explosive diarrhea.
I tried to hold it until I reached my place but I couldn't hold it any longer.
So I checked to make sure no one else was out who could see me. There wasn't.
So I ran into my neighbor's yard, pulled down my pants, squatted down and let it fly!
I shat and shat until I thought I was going to blow out my sphincter from shatting so much.
When I was finally done shatting, I realized I didn't have anything to wipe with.
So I scooted my behind across my neighbor's yard like a dog until I was clean. Or clean enough!
I pulled up my pants and walked to my place like nothing had happened.
The next morning I woke up to the sound of my neighbor screaming in his front yard after seeing all that shit.
He blamed it on the guy who lived across the street who had this massive Pit Bull.
Frankly, I laughed my ass off at the whole thing!
And, for anyone who thinks this story is actually real, I have some swamp land in Louisiana to sell you!