My Childhood Halloweens
My Childhood Halloweens pumpkins stories

tbanarchy Sometimes serious, mostly snarky author.
Autoplay OFF   •   a year ago
Ah, memories!

My Childhood Halloweens

by tbanarchy

The Halloweens today seem to be a bit different than the Halloweens when I was a kid back in the late-70s & early-80s.

It was probably because Halloween back then wasn't the multi-BILLION-a-year business the way it is now.

I've especially noticed the difference between Halloween costumes back then and now.

For instance, a few years ago I saw a Darth Vader Halloween costume while shopping in Wal-Mart that was the exact replica of the outfit in the films.

If I saw a Halloween costume like THAT in Wal-Mart when I was a kid I would have gotten down on my hands & knees right in the middle of the store and begged my parents to get it for me.

Back when I was a kid you would get a cheaply-made plastic costume at the local department or grocery store with a mask with a little string in back that would barely even resemble the character you were going as.

But then, there WAS a drawing of the character on the outfit itself so that took care of THAT.

I remember going trick-or-treating with the younger sister of the best friend of my older sister. I think her name was Kelly. Anyway, trick-or-treating itself was pretty uneventful . . . except for ONE incident I remember:

Kelly and I went to this one house and this group of high school jocks opened the door. I could tell they were jocks since they were all wearing their letter jackets. Kelly then said, "Trick or treat!"

The jocks then proceeded to kindly tell us where we could go. I, of course, was wanting to leave at this point. But Kelly stood her ground and said again more forcefully, "Trick or treat!"

One of the jocks then grabbed an unopened cereal box and said something iike, "Here, you want some candy? Here you go!" He then dumped the box's contents-which consisted of cereal and gumdrops-into our candy bags while his jock buddies cheered him on.

It probably goes without saying my mother was none too pleased when she saw what was in my candy bag, calling the jocks-and rightfully so-"stupid". (This no doubt contributed to my hatred of JOCKS.)

My last year going trick-or-treating was fourth grade. The last time I wore a costume on Halloween was in fifth grade when I dressed like an army soldier and went to this Halloween carnival at the old high school gym (which, for the record, SUCKED).

Anyway, besides the costumes, one big difference between the Halloweens of my childhood & the ones today is how older kids are now trick-or-treating along with the younger kids.

It reminds me of the episode of the show Curb Your Enthusiasm when it's Halloween and a couple of teenaged girls show up at Larry David's door and says, "Trick or treat!" Larry looks at them and says, "Aren't you girls too old to be trick-or-treating?"

Again, when I was a kid, if an older kid kept trick-or-treating they would either get laughed at or maybe they would even get their ass kicked.

Another thing that surprises me about how Halloween is currently "celebrated" is how-for lack of a better word-"sexy" the girls's Halloween costumes are now.

While I'm certainly NOT the most "prudish" and/or "conservative" person ever, even I have my limits. And, again, when I was a kid there would be NO way ANY store or company would dare put out "sexy" costumes for kids.

I mean, while I'm definitely a fan of Elvira, I definitely DON'T feel it's "appropriate" for girls younger than 18 to dress like her on Halloween. I mean, not EVERYONE is like that Jared the Subway guy. (Too soon?)

And, oh yeah, the Hallmark channel now begins airing Christmas movies 24-hours-a-day BEFORE Halloween.

So, on THAT note, have a Happy Halloween/Merry X-Mas/Krazy Kwanzaa, well, you get the idea!

And, yes, here's Elvira-the LEGAL Elvira!-with her huge, er, pumpkins!

Yeah, I know, I'm a pervert. And I mean a LEGAL kind of pervert and NOT the Jared the Subway guy kind of pervert! (Again, too soon?)

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