We all know what's been happening on here. There's been an influx of hate and lies that can only be purged by love and truth.
So in the spirit of those two things I have something to say.
As someone who has been diagnosed with Depression, Anxiety and PTSD for the past six years. As well as taken antidepressants and been to multiple therapists. The topic of Mental Health is extremely important to me.
Even now I still experience the occasional panic attacks, insomnia, and days where all I do is stay in bed without showering or wanting to eat.
I completely understand not wanting to exist. Especially by using any form of escapism I can to avoid life. Because life is hard and painful and messy and ridiculous.
But I've done a lot of work on myself and let my loved ones know what was going on with me. So I can now see the other half of life. That it's incredible and healing and vibrant and beautiful.
Here's some things I learned that I'd like to share with you. Hopefully this helps anyone who is struggling or knows someone struggling.
Today may have been awful. It may have felt like agony just to get up in the morning. The voice in your head might have been impossible to ignore. The pain may have been too much.
It's absolutely ok to feel all of those things. To just simply not be "ok" or "fine."
I know that many people might disagree with that, but it's true. Forcing yourself to be ok or ignoring those feelings does not solve anything.
It just makes you feel even more alone, misunderstood and broken.
When you're actually reacting normally.
Even the moments when you wish you didn't exist. That's ok too. It's ok to feel overwhelmed with life. To feel sadness, pain, loneliness, rejection, anger, and exhaustion.
It's ok to feel lost and confused.
All of those feelings are VALID. They matter and they are there for a reason.
However the most important thing to remember is that feelings are temporary. They are not permanent fixtures. They are meant to show up, be felt, be processed, and then leave.
Which is why it's not "ok" to ACT on these thoughts, feelings, and emotions.
If you do not have the strength to not act on these feelings, or these feelings are preventing you from experiencing life and all of its joys.
Then you need to reach out to someone who can help you get stronger.
Ask for help. Talk to someone, anyone you trust who cares for you. Let them know how you are feeling. If you don't have someone then talk to a hotline, a teacher, or a friendly Commaful member.
You don't have to be alone.
Because you are worth it. You are worthy of being loved and cared for. Your life is worth living, and you're the only one who can live it.
There is beautiful poetry that only you can write.
There are people that love and cherish you, and guess what? There will be even MORE people that will in the future.
People you haven't even met yet, that will fill your world with sunshine and wonder. You are meant to be here.
It's ok to not be ok. It's ok to cry, scream, shout, write sad poetry, listen to sad songs, and lay in bed. It's ok to do that today. If that's what you need.
Just please remember that there's always the promise of a better tomorrow.