Meet Cow
Meet Cow cows stories

s0me0ne Wordplay. Horseplay. Foreplay.
Autoplay OFF   •   21 days ago
Just for something completely different. Meet my cow. Warning absurdist farce ahead.

Meet Cow

I sleep with a cow

Not metaphorically.

That would be unkind.

And I'm not (mostly) unkind

No, I sleep with a real-life, actual cow

And when I say sleep with a cow

I don't mean - well, you know

Dirty minded sinners

We just sleep

Well, except when we're awake

Then we're just in bed together

Not sleeping

Anyway, I can't exactly remember how Cow

came to be in my bed

I think it's got something to do with the time

That I fucked with the mafia

And I think there might have been a shortage of horses at the time

And it's probably a lot more difficult to behead a cow than it is a horse

So I got the whole cow

Anyway, that's just a theory

I'm certainly glad they didn't behead her

because we've become very close.

And I doubt we'd have developed such a meaningful relationship.

If she was just a head.

Anyway I named her Cow

She didn't say her name was otherwise,

So it seemed the obvious choice

and I quite like yelling at her "oh, you silly cow".

When I'm cranky.

I suppose that's mean, but she doesn't seem to mind.

Anyway, we're together now.

(And to reiterate). Not together, together.

She's just my udder woman.


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