High School, you know, that time in your life when you are stuck in a building with a bunch of people that are trying to decide which non-conformist that they want to dress like every day.
There are so many options, the Goth, the Manga, the cartoon, the normal, the nerd, the hippy, flower child, gangsta, well, you know, the list goes on.
Very few are ever really "themselves" and by and large, most of us think that the lessons are tedious and the days are just too long.
We welcome any and all diversions. sometimes a trip to the bathroom can last about a quarter of the period if planned.
Other times we apply for programs that take us off campus and still other times we volunteer for community service.
Yes, some of the teachers are great, and being in their room is a blast, but listening to droll lectures on battles that took place 200 years ago is not exactly my cup of tea.
One thing that we all look forward to, believe it or not, is fire drills. It is controlled mayhem that takes us out of the classroom for a few minutes and gets us outside.
It takes several minutes to empty the building, and they always plan it in advance for good weather. Yes, they are typically boring. But hey, we are outside!
And then, there is the maintenance guy. We all hope that we see him during the fire drills.
Why do you ask?
Let me tell you. This guy is a nut. He's been seen travelling the length of the building wearing a full-size clock on his neckband, the hands spinning around as it is setting itself.
And photos? The film productions class takes pictures of people during the course of the year. Someone will invariably ask him for a photo, and this guy will pose.
Usually one hand behind his head, another arm outstretched, hat in hand, nose in the air, eyes closed...every year. But the fire drills...they rock when he is there.
He usually comes out of the lower doors, Screaming out that he has an announcement at the top of his lungs...
"All Right! This is just a DRILL!"
"Had this been an actual fire, kitchen staff would be on hand to pass out Hot Dogs and Marshmallows to hold over the flames until the fire crews arrive!"
Even the teachers are howling.
"In the event of rain please hold your umbrellas over the flames to keep them from going out! We want the fire department to have every opportunity to put out the flames by themselves.
The fire can be very hot, so please refrain from throwing classmates or teachers into the burning building.
Remember to celebrate every wall that caves in by dancing up and down and throwing your hands over your head while screaming "WAHOO!" or something like that, let's give it a try!...
Ready? WAHOO!" and several join in with him.
"You!" he will bellow to a random non-participant, " You didn't shout with us! Come on now, ready? WAHOO!"
By now, it is contagious, nearly everyone is joining in.
"The weather during the fire will be much like it is today" He shouts out, " Because we don't want anyone freezing or getting wet during a fire. That is why we practice this on nice days."
"Look up, see the beautiful sky? Not a cloud in it, not a raindrop falling out of it...Simply beautiful...
And LOOK!" He shouts excitedly, pointing upward into the clear blue sky, "The Sky!!! Do you see it!!! Several of us look up as the return order is given, seeing nothing irregular.
"LOOK!!!" He says, even more excited, The Sky is MOONING US!!!"
And sure enough, there is the moon, hanging high in the sunlit sky.
The guy is insane. Everyone is laughing. We're heading in now, up the stairs and through the door, listening to him as he strides toward his entrance shouting the marching song from the Wizard of Oz...
"OOOO DE UUUUMMM ...A OOOOOOO DUMMM!"
I hope he's there forever.