She will be with me later this month. Knowing this causes a thousand different thoughts to flood my soul.
Some are Joyful, filling my life with excitement, bubbling over into happiness, knowing that we will finally be together.
Knowing that my wife and I will finally be starting out on our journey into this life.
Other thoughts bring fear and anxiousness, doubts and trepidation. Neither of us are young.
We are both in our 60's and the two of us know too well the pain associated with loss, and the depths of grief and despair.
We both know that it is likely that one of us will face it again, for there are more days behind us than there are ahead of us.
Then there are thoughts of love. To have, to hold, to caress and share with someone that tenderness that is reserved only for that other, that one that brings completeness.
But I have been alone for so long.
What if I am too set in my ways? Will I be able to make her happy? Will the Love that we share be enough to carry us on?
Will I come to a point where I (gasp) take her presence in my life for granted? Will our love become so commonplace as to become something that we just wear like a pair of shoes?
I want my relationship with her to be special...to be the kind of love that people can see and know is real for us.
I want to walk beside her when I am ninety or more and hear the people around us talk about how nice it is to see two old people that are still so much in love.
I want her to feel as if she is on her honeymoon for the next thirty or forty years, should we have that long together, and truthfully, I want to be a hundred years of age with her,
a thousand if it is possible.
I want her to know how special she is to me every day of her life. I want to awaken next to her every single morning and tell her how beautiful she is, and show her how much I love her.
I hope so. I truly do.
Watch me try.