Moonlight swirls, pooling at my feet. Shadows and light rest on me. The wind whistles, a melancholy, mournful tune.
Standing in the middle of a large field, I realize that there's no one for miles.
This distance is nothing compared to how far I feel I am from people, people I'm standing right next to and even talking to. I feel alone. There's no one out there, looking out for me.
No one I can truly talk to, beyond the typical polite small talk. I don't want to talk about the weather or someone's babbling nephew, I want to spill my burdens, let them be shared.
I want not be weighed down. I want to let someone know my fears, my unspoken worries and uncertainties. But at the same time, I don't want to. I don't want to seem weak.
I don't want them to know how much I'm hurting inside. Where would I even find the words? It's just not me, spilling my guts to anyone. Anyone. I keep it all to myself. I'm alone.
Drowning alone in my lake of darkness and secrets. Locked away in my forbidding heart of steel. But it's not all steel. Inside, I'm weak.
I'll crumble inside the strong outer shell, and no one will even ever know. It's like a mask. No one knows what face you're making behind the mask.
No one knows what you truly look like without the disguise. What's worse is that I don't even know. I have layers upon layers of dark masks and disguises.
I lie not only to others, but also to myself. Who am I really? I don't know for certain. I have no dreams, no aspirations. I know not what I want. A single tear trickles down my face.
That's another thing. I never cry out loud. It's always silent. Always. I never let anyone hear or know. I never want to cry, but my tears come regardless.
Pitiful. My tears know me better than I know myself. Will this ever change? Can a new dawn come, melting my defenses and walls, cleansing my dark heart, allowing me to be just me? My face is grim.
It's too good to be true. Is it, though? I see the sun is beginning to rise. How long have I been standing here in this field? The fiery ball washes me in its orange light. I feel...
lighter. Can it be? Can it truly be possible? Hope, something I have never felt before, stirs within me. I feel my steel walls disintegrating. My eyes light up as I stare at the sunrise.
It can. It can, and I can. Hope. I've found it, and I will never let go.
So, that's the end. I'm pretty sure a lot of people conceal and bury their emotions. Don't. Try not to. Vent and rant, if that'll help you. Find someone to talk to. Let it all out. I know I'm a hypocrite. I don't reveal much, what I'm truly feeling, and I don't think I ever will except through anonymity. But I want to try. And as should you. Try. Let down your walls. Stop carrying such a huge burden.