Gaining self esteem is like fighting a war within yourself. You start with a dictator of the mind, constantly calling out from the recesses of your consciousness.
Telling you behind the closed doors of your existence that your thighs are too big, your tits are not big enough, your stretchmarks and cellulite make you undesirable, your hands are too small,
those inconspicuous little spider veins are hideous just like you, you eat too much, you’re too short etc… then by some outside force or sheer determination of will you start to fight back.
It starts as a small rebel force fighting against the dictator. And maybe with some firepower lent to you by your lover or friends, you win the first skirmish.
My hands are just the right fucking size for me. You celebrate, but the war has only started. Your will, fueled by kind words and the desire to love yourself fights on, on to the next battle.
Self esteem starts to gather surrounded by your inner troops fighting to overthrow the dictator and each surge of negativity hits your fighters like a wave.
Some days that wave breaks through and you lose a little of that hard won self esteem… but some days your troops push back that wave and gain another victory.
My tits are fabulous! A little more self esteem is gathered and stashed in the center of the ring of valiant soldiers. One by one those decrees that held sway over your life start to crumble.
Falling apart against the might of your forces.
The end game is to finally realize that the dictator never really had power over you,
but isn’t easy… I’m still fighting the war… my forces are gaining power and each decree falls like rioters felling statues of corrupt politicians. It’s a war zone in here.
It’s the War of Self, and I’m after freedom.