Your body tries to shrink into itself as if curling into this form will make the torment stop. Your mouth wide open, yet dead silent, frozen in a solid, forceful scream. You don’t understand.
Your exasperated and flustered and scared and angry, struck with anguish, WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY.
Everything hurts, you contemplate existence and even wish yours would cease right then and there so everything would just stop. You believe this depression, anxiety, pain, fear, confusion...
it must be what a black hole is like.
All of that heavy pressure and energy condensed into a solid point within the center of most celestial bodies,
sucking in and destroying everything around it and growing until it either bursts into beautiful new life,
or eventually fades and burns out like a candle out of wick at the high point of the moon, a new moon at that, as your world has become so dark and empty at this point.
All of these thoughts and emotions firing within you at the speed of light and it’s driving you insane, until *thump* it all slips away like a bad dream, the stars blinks out,
and the shadows consume you alive. Your heart then freezes over, you feel nothing but that solid, empty void, as the last thought that shoots through your mind is how alone you were.
You wish someone were here. Just so you’d know that someone cared and was going to genuinely miss you before you were gone, but, no.
Just a suffocating loneliness and regret, regret for so many things that you did wrong and all of the things you could’ve and should’ve done right, none of it would ever happen.
You never did enough. You only hope you’re at least worthy of being forgiven, if nothing else, as everything finally has ultimately become nothing, now.
You’re only comfort before that final moment was simply knowing it was over.