The best part about being an alcoholic is you can dance with your pain.
The best part about having an anxiety is atleast you can think something is going to happen in near future.
i really loved her but she left me.
i really loved him but he made me leave
my car broke down so i decided to take the metro.
I was waiting for metro to reach home.
I thought she was a foreigner when i saw her the first time, snowhite skin with blonde hair and a short cute nose .
i thought he was a dumbass when i first saw him
she sat in the metro beside me and i knew in that moment i'll talk to her considering her a foreigner i typed a note in my phone and showed it to her " where you from ?
please type back because you'll run away after you hear my english."
I gave him a sudden look as he was handing me his phone but when i read that i smirked i didn't know why i did it , i just did and typed back " I'm from nepal, Nepali bolda huncha :p ".
i don't now why i used that :p but his approach was cute.
I felt embarrassed for a moment but told her the truth," timi ta kasto foreigner jasto lageko".
i laughed so hard inside that he considered me a foreigner but with stiffness i said," eh foreigner haru lai line hanchau ho?"
She was so serious that made me anxious and i replied," haina haina sorry."
It was so fun to watch the face he made while saying sorry
she remained calm as the bus was moving through traffic and something stopped me from poking her and being a creep
I so wanted to talk to him but he wasn't paying attention to me looking through traffic. I can't start a conversation that is against the rules gave a little reminder to myself.
The bus was moving swiftly but still my eyes managed to see her hiding from her eyes.
I JUST MET THIS GUY, i reminded myself again and again but you ever find a person you just have to talk with even when you have no idea what you're going to talk about.
My stop came but i didn't want to leave her i wanted to go where the bus goes along with her but this isn't a movie, i got off the bus.
As i gathered all courage to start a conversation he got up and went, who does that ?.
i don't know if it is love but i couldn't forget the glimpse of her
i don't know if it is love but i just wanted him to stay a bit longer
Life is about moving on from things, moving on from worse to better in this boundless time.
Life is about keeping things even a trash can hold boundless memories.
Never had i thought i'll see her again sucking my blood out with an injection, is this called getting sick for love ?
i felt so happy after seeing him, it's like you know you're never going to see a person and the next second they pop out of nowhere infant of your eyes.
I started talking with her, Prakriti was her name.
Seeing him talk was something very wonderful, Alan was a nice name.
She asked me out, even after giving my blood for the test there was no weakness left in my body the blood flow increased in my body.
He seemed weak after giving his blood so i asked him would you like to eat lunch with me. I don't know what happened his eyes gazed at me with ray of hopes.
We went to the nearest cafe and i ordered myself a soup and opened my pack of cigrates. "aren't you sick?" she asked me. "not so sick to leave my cigarettes", i said.
i acted cool with him having cigarettes but as a nurse i have seen worse what a single piece of cigarettes can do.
We talked for more than an hour while slurping my soup and watching her eat mo:mo mercilessly , a full piece of mo:mo in her mouth hands moving and blabbing up about her life.
He was calm and a good listener well he was an real estate businessman.
Life seems wonderful when you're in love everything makes you happy.
Life seems large when you're in love, you realize there is a lot of things to do together.
Spending time with her felt as she was my comfort zone.
Spending time with him included comforting silence, intense eye contact and judging people.
i had my plans to invest in the share market.
i always wanted to be a nurse.
As i was running in my late 20's I decided to marry her.
When he said he wanted to marry me I brust out laughing at first but ended up agreeing.
It was like a dream throughout the wedding, things just worked out.
Beautiful, bold & ready to handle a new home being a bride was something so proving to me as a child .
My parents died after a week of marriage in a car accident. I couldn't hold myself up during those time I started alcohol.
Seeing him mourn was something that turned me weak i didn't even object when he took the alcohol , i thought he needed it.
After a month i finally got myself together and decided to invest my parental property in the share market.
Giving him support, cooking for him & getting him ready for work finally made me feel like a Nepali woman.
Marriages are great , you don't have to earn her love anymore yet she keeps loving you.
I wanted to shower him with all my love, so much love that he forgets about his parents.
I was so happy that the money i kept in share market doubled when entering the house full of joy she said, "you're going to be a dad".
A series of event ran through my head not knowing what to speak I carried her and kissed.
His happiness was something very lovable and heartwarming.
During her mid pregnancy we started having fights because i kept my real estate property in the share market too and it went down.
It was very hard to cope with a bump and do stuffs and he was always stressed and yelling about problems from work.
We had a daughter, carrying her and playing with her was something i just can't put out on words.
We had our daughter, Ehani we named her. She liked her father more.
As time passed i lost all my money in the share market, It was very degrading to ask my wife for the jewelry to sell and invest.
I shouted at him because he lost all the money yelling and fighting were daily part of the household.
I turned mad due to the loss of money , alcohol and cigarettes were my only caretaker.
i asked money from my family to admit ehani in kindergarten maybe that hurted him.
I wanted the best for my daughter so i decided to sell my house and try one last time investing.
how can he not care about his daughter ? I didn't want ehani to be homeless so i left him.
I had my ego high so i never called her back because she left me at the lowest and married me only because i was rich, I met ehani every week.
He never really cared about me it was me who was always loving him.
Laying alone in home, every sip of alcohol reminded me of her tender kiss.
Doing chores at home I missed how he used to carry me from behind and tell about his incidents.
She would come back home , many years passed as i said this every day.
He would take me back, 5 years passed as i said it every moment.
I used to share everything with my daughter as she met me every week she was 8yrs old and intelligent.
Ehani gave me the motivation that i can stir alone, i shared about her father and everything.
i never fell for other girls during these years nothing satisfied me.
Never thought i would be the girl doing second marriage but the situation makes us do unconventional things.
I finally figured out everything and settled myself financially.
I had decided to bring prakriti & ehani back home but ethane with her grandma entered the house and told,"prakriti 2 din dekhi ghar aako chaina."
As i was nursing a tourist from africa who got sick for a month, i started feeling nauseous and sick.
The doctors came with the report and it said the person was suffering from a lethal virus they check me and found the virus in me too.
They said there was no cure and you have to stay in a room till further treatment.
i couldn't feel anything , i couldn't go home or it will spread i decided to stay there without telling anyone.
I got worried and went with ehani to her hospital and found about about her suffering from the virus.
i ran where she was kept but stopped midway while i saw her through window her white skin turning red , those blonde silky hair falling.
When you know you're going to die nothing means anything, every value , every rules and all you've had in your mind.
The doctors were calming me down but i stood there sweating seeing her from backward while a mere reflection of me was on the window,
I ran again and punched it hard for 3 times and climbed up while blood drew from my hands. She turned back suddenly like she did the first time I met her, i went to her slowly and hugged her.
I know that was the end of me but just couldn't stop myself from hugging her.
Something broke beside me as i turned back it was him, i was angry all of a sudden my feelings mixed tear drew from my eyes seeing his hands.
As he came slowly towards me i wanted to run but he hugged me tight. Where were you Alan all these years which we could have speeded together ? i wanted to ask but i didn't and pushed him back.
I LOVE YOU MOM & DAD.