Collin was wide awake after tonight he couldn't find sleep anywhere close to him and his awake state.
He felt horrible, horrible that he had broken his best friend's heart, but he couldn't keep the secret from him.
Joshua was still his best friend, and he couldn't hide the fact that he was in love with Matthew much longer.
He hated that he had to break his heart to say the truth, but he couldn't help hiding it from any longer.
They both had left, leaving him alone, restless, afraid that the worst would happen without them being there.
He didn't know how to feel, how to feel, about how Matthew cared so much about him that he was willing to pretend he was someone he wasn't to be by his side.
The doctors couldn't describe it anyway what had happened to Charlie or why so all they could say was she was healthy again.
Her parents didn't care how but believed that it was a miracle that they could have their daughter alive by their side. Boredom and loneliness seem to consume Collin as he cried himself to sleep.
"Collin, Collin, wake up. It's me, Matthew." Collin opens his eyes, green eyes looking at him intensely as he is still trying to stay awake.
"Hey Matt, how are you doing? What are you doing here?" Collin sits up, rubbing his eyes, opening them to see that Matthew is only a few inches away.
"I'm doing fine, just wanted to see how you were holding up." Matthew's eyes held this look that Collin has never seen before. It was sweet, caring? Loving?
"Well, physically, I'm doing better than they expected me to be. They say I'll be able to leave as soon as it heals since my head hit the floor pretty hard when you cut the rope.
Emotionally, well, I could be better but finding out Charlie is going to be okay is wonderful news." Collin half-smiles, trying to hide his love and pain he was feeling with Matthew's presence.
Collin looks down at his hands, digging his nails into his skin to stop himself from showing what he felt.
Matthew put his hands over him, stopping Collin from hurting himself but he avoids looking at Matthew's eyes.
"Stop... please, Collin, I know it's hard, but don't hurt yourself for being who you are. Pain is temporary, it will soon heal with love and affection.
To be honest, the pain will always be there, it's how you react to it that makes you who you are.
I know I'm bad at speaking, bad at everything, really, but I want to let you know that everything will get better. Everything is going to be okay.
" Collin keeps his gaze on their hands, feeling the warmth embracing it because it might be the last time they will be able to be like this.
"I still love you. I'm sorry, but it's true, and I wish it wasn't. If you are going to insult me, hurt me, and make fun of me, then go ahead.
It will help me get over you and realize that the person I fell in love with isn't you.
You are kind, sweet loving, but even the most delicate people have the power to kill someone with one word. The word being no, no, I hate you, no, get away from me, no, you are not normal.
I'm sorry for all the horrible things I've done, I mean it, from the bottom of my heart. You're amazing, you're are beautiful, you're everything I search for.
All the strange and crazy things that happen every day, I'm sorry for all of this. I'm sorry being around, you're everything I want to be with.
Not only do I love you, but your silence is deadly. I waited for an agreement or disagreement, but there's nothing. Silence is deadly, Matthew, either hurt me or not, but I want the truth.
I'm sorry, but if it's a sin to love you, then I confess that I have greatly sinned. I'm not perfect, far from it, but I'm willing to be away from you if it makes you happy.
All I want is your happiness, with or without me in the picture." before Collin could continue speaking, he is interrupted by Matthew's lips.
Butterflies, fireworks, dragons, worms, or whatever people can come up with were bursting with emotions inside both of them.
Matthew put his hand on Collin's cheek and pulls him in more to make the kiss firm and pleasing.
Collin was in shock, he kissed him back, but before anything else could happen, a knock at the door made both boys pull away. The door opens, and the nurse walks in with Collin's breakfast.
Collin thanks her, red cheeks, and swollen lips couldn't be hidden easily, but the nurse doesn't seem to comment or acknowledge it.
"Collin, I'm going to check if everything's going well and then have the doctor come in and ask you a few questions, okay?
" Collin nods, and Matthew takes advantage of the moment and leaves Collin's room before Collin could start questioning him.
Matthew didn't exactly know why he kissed Collin, but the urge was stronger than it had ever been before that he couldn't hold back.
He loved Collin, he wanted to tell him soon, but the day Collin had confessed he loved him he was too shocked to say that he loved him too.
He thought it was it was weird that Collin hated him, then he liked him, then went back to hating him. It made no sense to him until he confessed his love for him in the music room.
It took Matthew a long time to realize that all this time he had loved him more than just a friend.
"Matthew, Charlie, would like to speak to you." Charlie's dad calls, having Matthew's attention immediately. Without hesitation, he learns the room number and runs towards her room.
He enters, seeing that Charlie looked healthy, a bit underweight but healthier than before.
"You wanted to talk to me?" Charlie nods, having Matthew get close to her and sits down on the chair next to her bed.
"Matthew, I thought I was dying, and I was, but I don't know why I'm still here. It's like the universe knew it wasn't my time, and it let me live another day.
Matthew, I love you, but you need to tell him the truth. He needs to know before he tries to kill himself again.
" Charlie was worried, tired, and stressed out with all the drama the odd group of friends had. All she wanted was peace and tranquility at a time like this.
"I... well, I kinda told him, but I didn't use any words." Matthew looks at his feet, blushing, remembering the kiss that had happened not long ago. "I ... he was so sweet and kind.
I couldn't hold back any longer and kissed him. Before he could respond, I broke the kiss because the nurse came in, and I left before I could explain myself.
I was too scared to speak, so I walked out and came here to tell you."
Charlie smiles, finally what had hoped for had become a reality.
"Matthew, there is a thin line between love and hate that can easily be crossed. Even though you are now 'friends,' don't you think you guys should make it official and finally be together?"
"I..." Matthew hesitates and sighs, "I don't think any of us are ready for this change. I think that it would be best to stay friends for now.
Then if we both still have feelings for each other then we can get together." Charlie shakes her head but ends up agreeing with him anyway.
Time passes, and finally, both Charlie and Collin can leave the hospital healthier than ever.
It was a Sunday when he finally decided to go and visit him since his release from the mental health hospital.
Matthew knocked on Collin's door, and a very sleepy Collin opens it revealing his messy room whispering 'come in.
' Matthew enters and sits on Collin's bed and waits for him to fully wake up from his nap.
Collin goes back on his bed, laying down, wrapping himself with covers, not caring to see who he had let inside of his room. After a few minutes, Collin convinces himself to see who it is.
When he sees Matthew, he quickly sits up, shocked to see him on his bed.
"Matthew? I, umm, sorry, I thought it was my uncle with food or something, so I didn't care to acknowledge you.
Umm, what, what are you doing here?" Matthew laughs at Collin's awkwardness, knowing that both of them were much too awkward to have a conversation without hesitation.
"I came to see how you were doing. Joshua is nice to me now, and there is an art show coming up, so I didn't hesitate to sign us up.
I hope you don't mind, but I thought that it would be great to focus on something new when you come back to school tomorrow.
I know Charlie came to drop off your work from class since I was too busy at home,
but I came here to make sure you understand what you are learning so you won't fall behind in any of your classes.
I was going to come here Saturday, but my parents grounded me for not accepting I was gay and for supposedly hiding my secret relationship with you.
I tried to explain it to them, but they wouldn't listen. I'm sorry I put you through so much pain. I don't know what to say to make you feel better or what to do in general...
" before Matthew could continue rambling on, Collin kissed him softly.
Matthew was surprised but didn't hesitate. Matthew thought that it couldn't get better, but it did.
It seemed like the first feeling he had when he kissed Collin somehow multiplied by three and would not leave him and his happy state.
Their lips seemed to fit perfectly as if they had finally found the missing puzzle piece to create the perfect picture.
Even though both had kissed before, it was nothing compared to what they were feeling now. They desired each other's touch, weren't forced, and everything just seemed to go away.
It seemed that all of their worries were gone, and all they had in mind was the love they had for each other.
"I knew it." Matthew and Collin pull away to see Victor smiling at the doorway that Collin forgot to close.
"Ever since Matthew first came into this house, I knew that you both had feelings for each other.
You boys make a wonderful couple, and Collin, I would have never thought about anyone better for you than Matthew."
"Wait?" Collin looks at his uncle, confused. "You're not mad? I, I just assumed that you wouldn't be accepting like Ethan." Victor shakes his head and joins them on Collin's bed.