You came in with your mom to the place that I work with your stupid smile on your face that only grew when you saw me.
Your mom and I talked like good old friends would, but I could barely look at you.
I didn't ask how you were. I didn't ask about your school. I didn't ask about work. I didn't ask you anything. All I said was to "enjoy" your meal. I didn't even mean it when I said it to you.
I no longer love you. I haven't for years. I no longer have a tenderness towards you - you don't deserve it. You hurt my fucking soul. Why would I not want to hurt yours?
But I won't. I don't want you in my life anymore. You're so selfish, and naive, and a terrible, terrible human being.
Do you realize what you did? Do you realize how often I've questioned myself, hoping that those terrible things didn't happen? Do you realize what you are? Do you realize what I went through? You don't, do you?
I have so much to say to you, but not a will to say it. You don't deserve to know, but I need you to, so you don't hurt anyone else like that.
My coworker was completely fooled when I took you to your table. She asked me what was wrong when I came back, holding my breath, shaking.
"I need some water." I texted my boyfriend what I saw, what you made me feel, what you did to me. I still haven't told him the whole story. He has me, though, and he's not sexually crazed like you are - you were.
He won't hurt me. He won't hurt me. Do you understand how many times I have to say that to myself? He won't hurt me. I have to say it so I don't leave him out of terror that he will. He won't hurt me.
He loves me, he says, but you said that, too. He cares for me, he says, but you said that, too. How dare you do this to me? He treats me so well and I'm so scared of him because of you, you fucking bastard.