Taming of the Shrew
           Taming of the Shrew loki stories
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lothirielswan
lothirielswan Love, fortune and glory to you!
Autoplay OFF   •   2 years ago
Loki and Tony try to help Peter Parker with a school assignment.

Taming of the Shrew

*At a local bookstore*

Loki: Ah, yes. The only redeeming quality of humans: books.

Tony Stark: The only important thing in this two-story stone age is the fully-functional exit sign.

Peter Parker: I'm really grateful that you're helping me with my school project, Mr. Loki and Mr. Stark—

Loki, off to the side: He said my name first.

Tony Stark, off to the side: Shut up.

Peter Parker: ...but are you sure you wanna be here? Together?

Tony Stark: Kid, you're looking at the smartest genius in the world, and this other random person.

Loki: ...

Tony Stark: I think we can finish a high school book report.

Peter Parker: Okay...we need the book first. Which section would it be in?

Loki: Shakespearean.

Tony Stark: Fiction.

Peter Parker: Err, we'll just split up?

Loki: Already found it.

Tony Stark: You were standing there the entire time. How could you have possibly found the book?

Loki: You claim to be the "smartest genius" on the planet. Figure it out yourself.

Peter Parker: Okay, act one, scene one—

Tony Stark: I'm already snoring. Here, kid, let's do this the easy way: I'll buy you the Cliff Notes version.

Loki: Cliff Notes?

Tony Stark: Yeah, they summarize the entire book. Quick and easy. Book report's already done.

Loki: You fool, that accomplishes nothing! There are too many intricate details overlooked! The professor will know to look for missing information!

Tony Stark: Well maybe I'll write MY OWN book report without you, and it'll be five thousand times better.

Loki: You think you can best me in literature, Stark? You're a bigger fool than Hamlet! I will write MY own book report, just to show this lego-loving spiderling how incompetent you are!

Peter Parker: Guys, can we just—

Tony Stark: IT'S ON. I'll rip you apart like Romeo and Juliet's divorce!

Loki: THAT'S NOT HOW THE STORY GOES

*Peter Parker slips away*

Peter Parker: Thanks for helping me with my book report.

Doctor Strange: Uhuh, you're lucky it's a slow Saturday.

Thor: Happy to be of service, Son of Stark!

Peter Parker: Great! You're really smart, Doctor Strange, and Thor, you always talk like Shakespeare. We can totally do this—

Doctor Strange: We need the book first. I'll check the Sanctum—

Thor: Or we could steal it from Loki's room.

Doctor Strange: ...

Thor: ...

Peter Parker: Not again...

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