My life, like many I’m sure seems to be instead of next event or trip but instead the next problem to face.
I never relax knowing that all that is in my future is issue after issue. When my father was pronounced terminal the next day my wife asked for a divorce
The day after that my vehicle started breaking down, and so on and so on....
This last week I had to deal with a lightning strike to the house blowing out my work modem as well as other stuff, then issues with work, and yesterday my mother going critical
Now in the hospital again she is doing a lot worse then even before, signs the mind is going fast, a hose fell off my vehicle, I had to clean her mess in the bathroom
I’m not allowed of work so deal with rare updates as the test are strange, keeping family informed as well as taking care of pets and all the appointments that now need to be rescheduled and medications ordered
Then taking care of my daughter as well and making sure she gets to where she needs as we all wonder if Mom will get to come home this time or not, or if she should
All the time life piles all the little challenges we all face and all I want and feel guilty about it is a day without a shoe dropping so I can not be so anxious and afraid of what is going to happen next.
I keep think of the one councilors statement from years ago, I wish you could go into a coma for just a couple days just to get a break from your trouble filled life, it is killing you from the inside out!
This is why so many times I have wished to just not wake up! I would embrace the black nothingness verses the constant problems with no relief or enjoyment. To not feel today is the day I can’t take anymore!!!