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lettucep Just here to do whatever I feel
Autoplay OFF   •   5 months ago
This wasn't really meant for anyone to look too deep into. I just wanted myself to let out these weird feelings I got from a dream yesterday. I see now that I may just have wanted closure with a particular person, or to reunite with them to reestablish our friendship. The love I was looking for him in my writing was a platonic love. One where I just miss his presence in my life. Now, I can move on.

Just In

I had a dream about you recently.

These fragments of fantasy

Mixed bitterly sweet with reality.

I knew it was a dream when you said

"I love you."

Even in subconsciousness

My heart beats for you

Only at that moment.

Maybe it was the way

Your eyes never looked as hurt, as


as loving as it had looked in that dream.

Your smile wasn't big, but you looked relieved while you stared.

We sat close on your single bed, and I rested my hand on top of yours

Wondering, what do we do next?

Then I woke up.

Disappointed? Saddened? Confused?

I blink once to fresh sunlight.

Relieved? Still confused? A little flustered?

I remembered.

We were childhood best friends.

But we grew apart for the last ten years.

You hung out with different people, so did I.

We stopped laughing together, stopped talking, stopped being best friends.

The word "we" became two single letters trying to connect and create new words.

Find yourself an 'i,' before the pair of L's while I found my own group of letters.

Maybe your "will" would be better than my "alone."

Maybe I missed what "we" were before,

So there

I am

Awake in bed, alone with my boyfriend

but with you,

Just in,

My mind.

How did someone I don't interact with anymore do that?

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