I had a dream about you recently.
These fragments of fantasy
Mixed bitterly sweet with reality.
I knew it was a dream when you said
"I love you."
Even in subconsciousness
My heart beats for you
Only at that moment.
Maybe it was the way
Your eyes never looked as hurt, as
as loving as it had looked in that dream.
Your smile wasn't big, but you looked relieved while you stared.
We sat close on your single bed, and I rested my hand on top of yours
Wondering, what do we do next?
Then I woke up.
Disappointed? Saddened? Confused?
I blink once to fresh sunlight.
Relieved? Still confused? A little flustered?
We were childhood best friends.
But we grew apart for the last ten years.
You hung out with different people, so did I.
We stopped laughing together, stopped talking, stopped being best friends.
The word "we" became two single letters trying to connect and create new words.
Find yourself an 'i,' before the pair of L's while I found my own group of letters.
Maybe your "will" would be better than my "alone."
Maybe I missed what "we" were before,
Awake in bed, alone with my boyfriend
but with you,
How did someone I don't interact with anymore do that?