It was Mid Summer. July 22nd was the day i Lost her. Her name was Sana. July 25th was also the day I lost her. Her name was Shaki. Shaki was my Girlfriend. We had been together for 5 years.
The Love was still there, Unconditional. But during her months of pregnancy was not always easy. The constant mood swings, eating appetites, weight gain and constant urge for sex.
My girlfriend Shaki was adored but also disliked because of her attitude towards certain situations or people around her.
During the pregnancy was a little worse because she always assumed i was horning which is a caribbean term for "cheating".
I was faithful to her through thick and thin because i had my fair share of mistreatment and getting hurt so i promised to never be that person.
It started with my neighbor Anuela who liked me bad but i wasnt checking on her because whe was the village whore.
She walked the roads with grace looking to trouble every man she saw but i wasnt going to let her come between my girlfriend or my unborn daughter. So i layed low.
Whenever she came around she staryed blushing with a warm "Hello Nicho". From the corner of my eye i notice Shaki standing in the veranda rubbing her belly while giving Anuela a fake smile.
I didn't t know what was up with females and the jealousy thing but i sure learned this summer.
It was getting late and I was stepping out to get Shaki her favorite Ice cream. She started having weird cravings for pistachio ice cream which tasted horrible but whatever.
As i walked to the door Shaki shouts " Yuh goin and meet Yuh muddacunt woman up the road?"
I tried not to entertain her childish complaining so i just ignored her. I try to leave and she blocks the doorway.
"So you cant answer me? I known thats where you going."
I answered calmly " i was going to get you ungrateful ass ice cream but you assuming foolery that i going and meet the whore of Willis."
Her voice starts getting louder to the point where the neighbors could hear and of course Anuela and her family were on their veranda maccoing all the bacchanal.
" You go and Breed me and now you don't want me again, is she you want. I does watch Allyuh." Shaki shouts and her face turning red.
" Why would i want someone who's been with the whole of Grenada to come in between someone whos carrying my baby girls in their belly. Let alone my happiness?"
Out of jealousy, Shaki gets quiet and walks away with her last word being "Liar" . Me trying to keep calm didnt work out because one thing i hate is being called a liar.
Immediately outraged, i lost my temper.
I shouted " believe what you muddacunt want eh girl. I sleepin down by Kimo i go check you in the morning ." That was the last thing i said before slamming the door and leaving.
I ended up buying the Ice cream for my cousin Taejaun and he walked me to Kimo.
" Why you and Shaki fall out for? About Anuela?" Taejaun asked me.
" Jesus like the whole Village know? Shaki is just being Shaki. Jealousy, assuming, normal ting." I said trying to avoid explaining what happened.
Me , Kimo and Taejaun made a small lime in Sawa rum shop until it closed. I tried to take my mind off of everything that went on that night.
I try not to quarrel with Shaki especially in that condition because god alone knows i dont want her to do anything reckless to endanger her and my baby Sana.
But sometimes her attitude isn't healthy and needs to be put in place. I said my daily prayers. I recited the "Hail Mary" and "Our father" 5 times each.
I also prayed for my family, friends and to see my baby girl one day. I layed there on the couch until i drifted to sleep.
It was 3:55am . I got multiple phone calls. Moments later my oldest cousin Andre came running down Sawa out of breath.
"Nicho something happening to Shaki."
As i heard her name my heart immediately dropped.
First thing that came to mind was " Is she in labor? Did something happen to the baby? " As i ran up the road i shouted " Kimo start the car and meet me by Deyga gap in 15 mins.
" As i got home, i ran to the bedroom. Shaki was nowhere to be found but i heard a voice call out from the bathroom "Nicho come" she said crying hysterically.
As i raced toward the bathroom i noticed trails of blood. I started crying of worry.
"What happened Babes?" I asked her
She said she noticed blood running because she felt a liquid while sleeping. I got her cleaned up and me and Andre walked down deyga to meet Kimo.
We rushed to the hospital, everyone silent during the ride.
I notcied she was still angry with me because she refused to sit in the back seat with me but i wasnt trying to argue at this point i jus wanted to make sure she was okay with out little one.
After many hours of waiting and waiting a doctore approached me and asked me to come inside the room with her.
Kimo and Andre gave me their blessings and i did the sign of the cross before going in. As i stepped in, she was laying there waiting to hear the tragic news that we were about to face. " Mr.
Nicho, Ms. Shaki im afraid i have some terrible news. Before i could say It , Shaki jumped in "Is she okay?"
She didnt make it, you lost alot of blood and you lost her. Im sorry.
"She had a miscarriage?! I shouted "How doc?!" She's perfectly healthy . I said not knowing how to feel right .
"It was due to stress and her blood pressure was extremely high" the doctor said. Immediately i wen in a rage because i knew exactly what caused that.
"See what you go and muddacunt cause?
All these months ive been telling you dont let Anuela get to you ! I dont want that girl and now you go and kill we baby because of your fuc*in jealousy!
I slammed the room door and sat in the hallways crying my eyes out. Kimo and Andre came to my support. I was so broken, it hurt even more explaining it to them.
They kept Shaki to run more tests and to perform the procedure of removing my dead unborn daughter. I didnt want to face Shaki so Kimo and Andre told her goodbye alone.
All of this could have been avoided if she had trusted me. But July 22nd was the day my life would never be the same again.
I got home that night and cried myself to sleep. No one in the village saw my face for a couple days until Shaki returned home.
As she walked in, i just started crying again , moments later she did as well. She tried to embrace me and i let her in. She let out a " Im sorry for all this" but i didnt accept it.
I couldn't speak because i was so choked up on words i let her go and went into the guest the room, locked the door and went to sleep. The date was now July 25.
It was 730pm when another event happened in my life. I had woken up from my nap.
Around this time, Shaki would usually be sweeping the house or even catching up on news but the house felt very quiet and strange. I called out for Shaki but no answer.
I walked down the step and i saw an empty vodka bottle at the side of the house leading to the river in the back of where we live.
I immediately ran behind behind there and i saw her slippers along with her ring that i had gotten her along with a paper folded on the stone.
I hold my head and bawl. It was my loving girlfriends lifeless body floating in the river . I screamed HELP!! HELP!! So loud i started vomiting.
You could say almost half of Willis was in my yard. Some Sad , Some Confused, some even angry. Some even thought i caused her to kill herself.
Anuela also showed up trying to hug me and i pushed her away. That was the last time i saw my Shaki and i read that letter to myself every night remembering July 22nd and July 25th.
Days that changed me but also broke me because i lost 2 important people in my life in one week.
Im Truly sorry for all that i have caused. I know its not easy to deal with me or even have me anymore after what i have put you through. That was our first born and also a piece of me and you.
I shouldve believe you the first time but i knew you were so great of a Boyfriend that i didnt want to lose you to someone else.
I know you maybe disowned me from your life but i will always love you. Me and baby Sana will be lookin down on you guiding you everyday.