Sometimes it's hard to remember what I was thinking about when I was younger. I don't know if I want to. I'm worried that I'd find that nothing has changed.
And that I haven't progressed on the inside in any way. It's interesting being a person. How the heck did this happen.
How did I get here?? When did I suddenly start remembering? I don't remember. Is everything a dream? It feels like that sometimes. It's so weird.
I feel like the universe should just give me things. And I guess it does. It's confusing. I think my resting state is confusion. That's my neutral.
For some people it's discomfort or emptiness or excitement or optimism, and for me I think it's confusion. It's not necessarily a bad thing, the worst part might just be that I think too much.
It does keep me curios and asking questions.
Everything just seems so weird and I don't understand how most things work or how they're done or why they're done.
And it may very well be a trap to ask these questions, as most tend to be unanswerable, but they can be fun to think about- almost addictive.
I think it's important to make that distinction- of not getting bogged down in that overwhelming feeling of awe when trying to understand things that are fundamentally unanswerable.
Do you guys ever just catch yourselves looking around and thinking, 'where the heck did all this come from??'