I was at the aquarium with my wife and we were looking at the Groupers. My wife was so afraid of Groupers. She'd been afraid of them since she was 9.
On our first date she'd said to me, 'I shall give you the world and all of my love, sweet man, but if you dare to bring me up close to a grouper then I shall leave your sorry ass.'
I had obeyed her words and because of this we had enjoyed 17 years of marriage.
Today, however, was April Fools day.
I had planned this whole thing where in the morning I would roll over in bed and say to her, 'good morning sweet pudding sauce, shall we go get ourselves a pet today?'
So I said all that and she'd said 'yes', and so after breakfast we went downtown to find a pet. I'd suggested that we go to the aquarium and get some inspiration.
We bought our tickets and entered the building. I headed us straight in the direction of where I knew the ugly fish lived. My wife suspected nothing.
So we got close to the Grouper section and I put a blindfold over my wife's eyes. I told her 'you got a big surprise coming, just you wait.'
I got her right up against the glass and then ripped the blindfold off her face.
My wife shrieked in horror when she realized where she was, but it didn't last long, because before I knew it she had turned around and was giving me a nasty look.
"I promised ye old man that if you ever should set me before a Grouper that I would leave your sorry ass!"
"Haha, happy April Fools day, sweet heart!"
"Hey that's no way to treat a lovely woman!" Shouted someone from behind. I turned to see one of the staff workers walking over. He was wearing a wet suit and carrying a bucket of krill.
"Who are you?"
"I'm Tony! I feed the Groupers!"
"You sound like a lovely man!" Said my wife. "I'm leaving you Moe! I think i'll take Tony!"
The man put down his bucket, removed his wetsuit, and carried my ex-wife out of the aquarium in his arms.
I decided that since my life had fallen apart I may as well take up a new hobby, so now I work at the aquarium feeding Groupers.