Trouble on the Enterprise
Trouble on the Enterprise startrek stories
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kaiwhite
kaiwhite I post a new funny story everyday!!
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Captain Kirk was sitting on the bridge with the rest of the crew of the SS Enterprise. They were coming up on a strange planet. It looked just like a baby's face... "Spock- can you, please tell us the, composition of the planet's atmosphere?" Asks Captain Kirk.
By kaiwhite...

Trouble on the Enterprise

Captain Kirk was sitting on the bridge with the rest of the crew of the SS Enterprise. They were coming up on a strange planet. It looked just like a baby's face...

"Spock- can you, please tell us the, composition of the planet's atmosphere?" Asks Captain Kirk.

"Captain, it would appear that the atmosphere is made up of 40% carbon dioxide, 35% chlorine, and 25% marijuana fumes."

Scotty gasps in surprise. "I used to smoke the marijuana back in me teenage years, Captain!"

"That's, disturbing Scotty."

"Captain, it appears that someone is trying to send us a radio communication. Shall I play it aloud?" Asks Uhura.

"Yes."

Uhura flips a few switches and suddenly the bridge is filled with the most horrific noise imaginable. It sounds like grinding metal. Sulu clasps his ears in pain.

"What on earth is that sound?!" Yells Kirk.

"I'm so sorry! I accidentally played my work out playlist!" Stammers Uhura. The sound stops. The crew takes a moment to recover "My apologies, Captain!"

"It's, ok."

Uhura turns back in her chair, a look of great embarrassment on her face. She flips a few switches.

Suddenly the speakers begin blaring what sounds like an angry dictator spitting and screaming in a foreign tongue. Spock and Kirk exchange a look of uncertainty.

"Good god! What are they trying to communicate?!" Asks Bones.

"Hard to say. Uhura, please use the Enterprise translating software!" Asks Spock.

"Oh no, I'm very sorry! I've accidentally played my sons valedictorian speech from last June!"

Kirk turns in his chair and gives Uhura a cold glare. "Uhura- listen to me."

"Yes, captain?"

"I want you to, grab your bag and, GET THE HELL OFF THIS BRIDGE!"

Uhura stands and bolts for the elevator, sobbing into her hands. The crew give a round of applause. Spock and Bones walk over to Kirk.

"We've done it again, Captain!" Says Bones.

"Thank you, why don't we, take 15 minutes for lunch?"

"Affirmative Captain!" Shouts Scotty.

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