"I have some news for you!" Screamed the head chef as I was melting some butter over the stove.
"What is it?"
"You're being promoted up the totem pole!"
"Wow, what for?"
The head chef leans in close and starts tapping the tips of his fingers against one another.
"The waiter just informed me that Mama June-bug in seat 17 made a comment about the richness and splendour of the butter on her trout."
"The butter that I melted?"
"That's right!" He slaps me on the back. "Take these rags off son! You begin work upstairs right away!"
I hand the pot of melting butter over to an old man who is replacing me and proceed to remove my white cap and apron. I lay them on the counter.
"Good luck with the rest of your career," says a girl who I've been in love with the whole time that I've worked here.
I'm sad to know that I won't see her anymore but alas, my career is probably more important.
"Goodbye Marge! I've often enjoyed cooking alongside you!"
"Oh but wait!" She starts. "I've always been deeply in love with-
The head chef clasps my shoulder and begins directing me towards the exit. "Come on son! There is so much to achieve!"
After a short elevator ride we come out onto the second floor. I'm immediately struck by how clean and shiny the floors and walls are.
"Tomorrow you'll begin learning the deeper secrets of melting butter, but for today you'll be washing dishes. It's good to stay humble, son."
"Yes sir." I'm handed a beautiful deep blue uniform. I go change in the bathroom and when I come out I find that the head chef has gone.
It's just me and about a dozen cooks who are all the size of basketball players and have the wild expression of drill sergeants.
"Get on thy dishes, ya- Halibut look-alike!" Roars a young woman who is chopping celery.
I do as she says.
I start by scrubbing a bowl caked in pasta sauce when suddenly- "Ye have thy tiniest hands that thy lord hath ever giveth! What use doth though expect to have with such petite pincers!"
"Uh- I think I'll manage."
She gives a big humph and goes back to chopping her celery. After a couple minutes I suddenly jump in surprise when a man roars next to my ear.
"You scrub thy plates with a mask of boredom that offends my soul! What sins hath thy committed that thy lord would endow ye with such a lame mind!"
"I've cleaned like six pans and twelve plates! What's wrong with that?"
"You're building a den on thin ice, ya little protestant puff!"
An hour later I hear a bell ding to indicate that the shift has finished. I hang my head and make my way to the exit when suddenly I feel a gentle hand on my shoulder.
It's the woman who'd been chopping celery earlier.
"You did wonderful on your first day! I hope you didn't take the required hazing to heart?"
"Is that what that was?"
"Yes, it builds character buddy!" She gives me a soft hug. "We'll see you tomorrow!"
"Oh, ok- goodnight."