One time I ran for president and got so close to winning. I was even getting my picture taken to be used on all the hundred dollar bills.
I was so excited! I was probably gonna be rich! I called my family on the phone and said, 'guess what, we gonna be rich!'
My family was excited for how their life might change, although they were slightly sceptical because I'm Canadian and Canadians aren't supposed to run for President of the US.
So I had lots of interviews to do. They were an opportunity for me to pitch my plan to the American people. I went on Howard Stern and I did some good talking there.
"So tell me this," he asked. "How are you going to fix this country?"
"Well the first thing I'm going to do is make water very accessible, and also I'm gonna make it so that there is lots of free canned food."
"Why are you going to do that?"
"Well because there's a lot of hungry people. And so maybe we can feed them?"
"I wanna go on record and say that I'm going to endorse this man!"
"Thank you, Howard Stern!"
So there was only five minutes until we found out who was going to win. I was in the lead and I was already picking out what coloured floor mats I wanted for the White House.
But just when I thought I was in the clear, something horrible happened. There was a crowd of people on TV, and the camera was trained on one little boy in particular.
He was holding up a card and saying "The presidential candidate dropped his card! I found it!"
My heart sank when I realized which card he'd found! The boy was holding up my Canadian Health Card!!
"Let's see the card!" Said a news anchor. "Oh, it's a- health card? From Canada? The presidential candidate is Canadian?"
I began to pack my bags and Google bus tickets back to Canada.