"Hi, how is your morning going? May I speak to Howard Hefner?"
"Wonderful. My name is Paula Bush and I'm calling from Earth Electronics, your internet provider!"
"What do you want from me now?"
"Well, sir, um. I'm calling to inform you that starting October 1st, your monthly internet bill will be increasing from $56 to $66."
"Oh, good god. Why's that?"
"Well, sir, as you know, we care deeply about helping our customers and-."
"Answer thy question, ye sinful seller!"
"I apologize! I did not know that you were a man of the lord!"
"I am. Speak me some truth about the Earth Electronics corporation."
"Ok, but I'll have to whisper."
"It's horrible here! My boss doesn't wear any clothes to work and he makes us all sing karaoke on lunch break!"
"I see! What is served for lunch?"
"Oh god, he makes everyone find a cat on their way to the office and then cook it up for the staff! We have feline potluck for lunch!"
"Well, I'd like to thank you for calling but unfortunately I won't be needing Earth Electronics services any longer. I'm switching to Aunt Jemima's Limited."
"Oh god, don't say that! If they find out I've lost a customer they'll run me over with a Cadillac! It's what they do with low performing employees!"
"Gotta run! Sounds like my water is boiling!"
"Oh sir! Please!"