I got up out of bed and saw that there was a racoon standing by my closet.
"We need to talk!" He declared.
"Ok, let's hear it."
"I've been getting complaints from neighbours that you're making a lot of noise."
"Well I use the blender a lot, so it could be that."
"I'm sorry to say that I need to kick you out. You're fired."
"Wait, what? I have to move out? What do you mean 'fired'?"
"Please don't make this so HARD! Just do as I say and be gone before sun down tonight!"
"Oh. Oh my! How horrible!" I fell to the ground and began weeping like a bruised boxer.
"And to think that I had made plans to renovate the bathroom! My whole life has been planned around this property!!"
The racoon walked over to me and put his paw on my back.
"You're making this so DIFFICULT!
I know you're going to have a tough time explaining this to Mary-Beth and your seven kids, but perhaps God will bless you with his love and get you through this difficult time!"
I stood up, tears streaming down my eyes. I pulled my suitcase out from under my bed and started packing up my blenders.