Cat Artist
Cat Artist cat stories
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kaiwhite
kaiwhite I post a new funny story everyday!!
Autoplay OFF   •   19 days ago
My cat was offended by what I'd done with his art. He was really upset. "I'm taking your art to the curb!" I howled. "That's where it belongs!"

Cat Artist

My cat was offended by what I'd done with his art. He was really upset.

"I'm taking your art to the curb!" I howled. "That's where it belongs!"

"Meow, how can this be?! I painted those portraits with such care and to hear that you don't like them, well it hurts my feline heart!"

"I do not care! I have HAD it with staring at oil paintings of nude cats! Today's the day that I stand up fo myself, got it?"

I grabbed a handful of nasty looking masterpieces and hurled them to the sidewalk. A passing politician screamed in surprise, thinking that someone was trying to assassinate him.

"What's the meaning of this?!" Cried the political candidate.

"Sorry bud, but I'm doing a little spring cleaning. You might want to get out of the way as I dispose of this filth!"

I flung a tiny painting of three kittens giving one another baths with their tongues. The politician's eyes grow wide like plates.

"What a wonderful painting. You're getting rid of it, aren't you!"

"Nice detective work, Judge Judy! You're not as foolish as you look!"

"I must ask that I keep this painting, and this one as well!" The politician burped in excitement as he snagged a painting of a lion posing in the nude.

"Fine, keep them."

"Meow, I am the artist!" Said the cat from the patio. "I painted them myself, meow!"

"Incredible! I need some contemporary art to go along with my upcoming run for prime minister, and I must say that these are exactly what the PEOPLE OF THIS COUNTRY CAN RELATE TO!"

He puffed out his chest out and burst a few buttons in the process.

"Well, if I may speak for THE PEOPLE," I started. "I think that they're gross!"

"How would you like to join my campaign as my personal artist!" The politician asked my cat.

"Meow, it would be such an honour!"

"Wonderful! Come hither little feline! I'm on my way to a banquet at the Hilton! Perhaps you can paint the scene!"

The politician grabbed as many hideous paintings as he could carry and started down the sidewalk with my cat at his side.

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