A Goofball

@goofball

muahahaha (not my jokes)



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goofball
A Goofball . 5 years ago
TEACHER: good job on the test Suzy, you're really smart
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A Goofball . 5 years ago
[memory]
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A Goofball . 5 years ago
*impersonates a cop*
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A Goofball . 5 years ago
what if there's a race of space-travelling aliens out there whose fav delicacy is brain noodles and one day they arrive and start slurping our noodles right out of our skulls through
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A Goofball . 5 years ago
🎄🎅🎄🎅🎄🎅🎄🎅🎄🎅
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A Goofball . 5 years ago
ROOKIE SCIENTIST: wouldn't it be easier and cheaper to synthetically produce the ink in a lab then mass produce it in a factory?
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A Goofball . 5 years ago
NEWS: the dictator Robert Mugabe has been replaced
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A Goofball . 5 years ago
Tom Hanks:[holding a knife to my throat] say it
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A Goofball . 5 years ago
at the edge of the universe there's a ledge, and sitting on it is a dog wearing big heart-shaped sunglasses and the world's longest scarf trails far below him
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A Goofball . 5 years ago
did you get the drumsticks? Nice
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A Goofball . 5 years ago
INVENTOR: technically its not a screaming wheel of death since it hasnt killed anybody
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A Goofball . 5 years ago
GRANDMA SPIDER: try it on dear
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A Goofball . 5 years ago
remember, you're never too old to start a new hobby
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A Goofball . 5 years ago
imagine a great white shark swimming toward you with a big white beard and Santa's hat perched just above its black eyes
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A Goofball . 5 years ago
a hashtag for world vegan day is trending right now but i don't have time for that bullshit
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A Goofball . 5 years ago
the astronauts on the International Space Station do nothing all day but make up space words like "spacepancakes" and call us mean names like "the earth idiots" and laugh
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A Goofball . 5 years ago
ME: [deer trampling new tracks, dry crunchy snow]
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A Goofball . 5 years ago
you awaken in a dark room, and it feels immense
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A Goofball . 5 years ago
ok sorry to anyone nicknamed snake who isnt a greasy dirtbag
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A Goofball . 5 years ago
late one night i find my pet lobster in the kitchen by the stove
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