"All out, brothers!" said the shop steward elf at the North Pole. The elves stopped wrapping presents.
"What's going on!" said Santa. "Clause 15 of our contract says, 'Elves deserve reward for their contribution'.
"What will it take to get you all back to work?" "Reinstate the porn channel," said the shop steward, a Woodbine dangling precariously out of the side of his gob.
"Consider it done," said Santa. There was a collective "Whoot!" from the elves.
As Santa set off for the night shift, the elves settled down to watch 70s skin flick classic, Debbie Does the North Pole.