"Come at me, bro!" he snarled.
He had the defence posture of the iceberg that sank the Titanic and he was wider than a ten ton truck, but I reckoned I could take him.
He threw a sucker punch, which I dodged. I decided to go girly-style, so I kicked him in the nuts.
While he was writhing on the floor in agony, I wiped the soles of my shoes on his face and said, "Who's the daddy!" Strangely enough, he didn't reply.
The things you have to go through to get yourself a cheap widescreen TV on Black Friday!