i always have things to say but never know where to begin as usual putting my feelings into words never gets the message across
somehow you make me feel like I'm everything and nothing at the same time i want to be embraced by you no matter the circumstances i feel more alive when you're around i feel safe, like i can be myself & you won't judge me.
but in the back of my mind, i know the more i want you, the less you want me the more i grow, the more you feel i deserve better the more you tell me you love me, the less meaningful it seems..
i know all of this but life is better with you around me i hate when you leave but love has hope.. hope that you grow into what you're destined to be hope that you find the love you desire hope that you experience the places you always told me about capture every moment, upload your favorite ones keep the ones you're unsure about in your phone and show me to see if i think you're beautiful when you dont.
thinking back on it even on your worst days I adored you. but I also see that I didn't take my time to continue to learn you anymore when I got you. I got complacent, lazy, less romantic. even through it all you loved me. you're away now and I get to see you live your life..
living for you, finding yourself.. you inspired me to do the same. I took opinions, criticism, flooded my head with the thoughts of my mistakes. I changed my thought process, approach, temper, spirit.
I filled the emptiness I felt without you. I began to love myself more than ever. I feel free, I feel everything, I feel like a new me. this new me has brought me here. this is my story.
I've made mistakes. I'll definitely make more I've grown. I'll continue to grow. but for now, I'm just around. neither here nor there. thank you.