"I'll try again and next time I'll surely make it!"
Idea after idea, a constant tsunami of thoughts is going through my head.
"First I will... And after that she will..."
My mind is slowing down, but my heart won't let me give up yet, so I keep planning my second attempt.
"But what if... Could she really mean it... She wouldn't have said it otherwise, would she?"
The thoughts stop, i'm left in complete silence, my mind blank.
"Of course she meant it! As if I had a chance in the first place..."
I'm slowly curling up on my bed, getting ready for the sadness to kick in, but I feel as if it is delayed by something else.
My heart is broken and the pieces are scattered where I'll never find them again, I'm crying a river and choking on the tears, but...
It just doesn't feel right...
I managed to stop crying.
I managed to pull myself together.
I can't be sad when I'm thinking about her.
"So thats how it is then..."
I don't know what to do or feel or say.
"I just have to go on... Maybe..."
"I'm going to respect what she said and... And what?"
I asked myself. Nothing feels natural anymore.
"And... And I'll figure the rest out as I go on!"
The only ideea I had at the time. But thats just what I ended up doing.