Battling the Internal Mind
Battling the Internal Mind seclusion stories
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benjamingoldsch
benjamingoldschifitsoundsgoodsayitotherswillappreciate
Autoplay OFF  •  8 months ago
Struggling with the voice in your head and fighting to do better than what you tell yourself your worth is something I feel we can all relate to. I hope you enjoy but if not then that’s okay too. Comments as always are welcome as long as they are intended to critique and not insult.

Battling the Internal Mind

Crawling out from below the depths of my own sanity

Searching for the one I was meant to be

Tired of fighting these demons

Trying to realize my own true potential

Making strides where I once thought it was not possible

But again I make the mistakes that have haunted my years and held me back from my dreams

Finding the release from these thoughts more important than anything else in that moment

Struggling with the pain and regrets that I feel once again

I’ve failed again and those strides fade away

Making them appear like baby steps to my own demise

I know I could achieve greatness if only I could get out of my own way and believe in my worth

But my past is always on my mind to remind me that life cares not how hard you try or what pain you feel

These thoughts and feelings, the contemplation and the pain all come together to send me into a whirl of blinding rage

Angry with myself for all that I have lost or was too afraid to reach for

Telling myself once again that what I lack is that which I do not deserve

That I’m right where I’m meant to be

And there’s nothing more my soul deserves than an emptiness that cannot be filled

But then the light shines

The passion returns

I can believe in myself once again

But how long can this last

I’ve been here before and I’ll be here again

Preparing for my impending fall back to the depths that keep me secure

Locked in loneliness

Happy with the ease of never allowing myself to feel the pain caused by another

keeping others safe from the pain that I would have caused them

If I were to have ever let them see, know, or feel the emotions that I suppress

I go back and forth

I fight, I give up, and I try to fight again

Pressing this battle forward

Looking for answers I fear will never be revealed

Falling behind

Living with shame

I’m Fighting again

But I’ll just wind up losing, all the same.....

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