Airplane Blues
Airplane Blues funny stories

alansshorts A passionate comedy writer
Autoplay OFF   •   a year ago
Jason Mourn makes a fatal mistake on board an aircraft!

Airplane Blues

I weighed this against the odds that I was doing something incredibly stupid, and I went ahead anyway.

I know I should have waited, it would have made things less awkward. But I was never one for inside the box thinking.

I like to do the unexpected, and so the unexpected came to pass, for both of us, for very different reasons.

There we sat, high in the air, nowhere to go, only each other to keep ourselves entertained.

It wasn't ideal, as the occupant of the window seat was a heavy sleeper and was using Hannah's shoulder as her personal pillow.

It should have been me, but I needed the aisle for what I was about to do. Hannah was a little salty about my refusal to give up my seat. Actually, quite a bit salty, but it was out of my hands.

A baby was screaming on the far side, which Hannah couldn't abide.

Of course, she was also dealing with the sleeper's trainlike snoring and drooling, not to mention the kid behind her who kept kicking her seat like there was no tomorrow.

And on top of that, her phone wouldn't play the in-flight entertainment and my phone was low on battery, so she only had me for company on the eight-hour flight to the States,

which was not good, as she wasn't speaking to me. But I thought my plan would make her forget all that misery and kick our holiday off right.

Make her smile, you know? Make her happy, like she deserved to be. I waited with bated breath for the 'fasten seatbelt' sign to subside to make my move.

When it finally did, I took action right away, nervous as I was, but it could only end happily, right?

I stood up in the aisle, as did a few others, all looking to use the airplane bathroom which they would now have to get past me to avail of. I knelt down on one knee and produced the ring.

A small queue was already building up behind me. Hannah gasped, and all eyes were on me. And her.

'Hannah,' I said. 'Will you marry me?'

The whole plane was on tenterhooks, waiting for her answer.

'Absolutely not.,' was her reply.

Titters of laughter began to circulate around the cabin.

'What?' I said, my eyes welling up.

'She said no, buddy,' a man behind him said, 'could you move? I need a shit.'

I was frozen. I couldn't move. I was paralyzed. Murmurs were flying around the cabin of my failure. And angry annoyance from the bathroom queue was growing.

I snapped back to reality when the food cart smacked me right in the head from the opposite side.

'I'm sorry, sir. 'The flight attendant said, 'You can't kneel there. Could you please sit down, sir?'

I slowly rose to my feet and sat beside Hannah, who was beyond mortified. She had sunk far down into her seat with embarrassment, the snoring still serenading her.

Life in the cabin resumed. But I was stuck. Stuck with Hannah, the woman who rejected me. Stuck beside her for another seven hours of a flight, and two weeks of a holiday.

Another day in the life of Jason Mourn.

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