i feel so lost. what's the meaning of life, what's the point? some are saying that happiness has something to do with the answer.
why is happiness important though? "would you rather be sad?" i'm constantly sad anyways, so it seems like much less work to just stay sad.
i think it makes me more sad when i try to be less sad.
when i try to be less.
who would try that? who would succeed? you just are. trying is impossible without an immeasurable amount of struggle and heartbreak. an immeasurable amount of blood, silver, cotton, pills.
you can do the math. she's so perfect, she makes me forget the basics. i'll never go back to school.
i need the truth. good or bad, preferably the latter. "why is your skin so purple?" it's just cold, please don't touch me.
hope i'm not tired of destruction. what else would I do with myself?
how could an hour change someone? they could go from smiling to laughing, laughing to crying-
"because it keeps you alive, it's something that gives you meaning"
what takes that meaning? "sadness, giving up on life, when everything is gone, when you lose someone most important to you" what is a person without meaning? "empty"
find me on the beach, on the sidewalk after hours of rain. find me in the park. stretch your fingers towards my eyes and watch me shrink into myself. don't tease, just crush me, kill me already.
make me die feeling the pressure of your patterned hi-tops. every second. [equally. returned. love.]
"make your life count, since time doesn't last forever."
i'm bringing a screen of obscurity and confusion. it's a shield. it's so that i'm not so vulnerable. to myself. to you.
i'll turn my skin grey and watch goosebumps return for the fourth time.
it's almost time.