The inner conflict of a writer
The inner conflict of a writer writing stories

zmcstories ^Instagram and Wattpad ^
Autoplay OFF   •   3 years ago
Sitting down to write poses its own problems. I'm sure you can relate.

The inner conflict of a writer

by zmcstories

I sit down to find some inspiration.

I look inside and feel my emotions ready to launch themselves at my fingertips.

I can feel myself welling up as I write this.

Do I dare speak of the sadness?

The fear?

Of what could never be?

Would I look foolish, weak, or unable to defend myself if I did?

When I sit down to type these words, I can already feel my heart constrict in fear that the truth may be more brutal in the written word.

Can I put pen to paper?

Or finger to keyboard?

Or even say the words inside my head?

Does it make it more real if I put these innermost thoughts to the public and let them have their say?

If my family ask me what's wrong?

If my followers like this post?

I can't tell.

But right now I need you all to know that there are secrets even my writing will not be privy to.

Sore spots that hurt my heart if I graze them.

Does that make me a bad writer?

Yet another question I cannot answer.

Maybe I should be pushing myself out of my comfort zone.

Maybe I should make myself cry from the truth of my words.

But writing is my safe space. How can I breach that level of trust with myself?

I don't know.

But I want you all to know that every single interaction I have had as a writer has kept me going.

Sometimes I'll see that you've connected with the emotions I put out there.

And that makes me happy!

Maybe I am writing correctly?

I don't know.

But it feels right.

And that's good enough for me.

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