The inner conflict of a writer

zmcstories^Instagram and Wattpad ^
Autoplay OFF  •  3 months ago
Sitting down to write poses its own problems. I'm sure you can relate.

The inner conflict of a writer

by zmcstories

I sit down to find some inspiration.

I look inside and feel my emotions ready to launch themselves at my fingertips.

I can feel myself welling up as I write this.

Do I dare speak of the sadness?

The fear?

Of what could never be?

Would I look foolish, weak, or unable to defend myself if I did?

When I sit down to type these words, I can already feel my heart constrict in fear that the truth may be more brutal in the written word.

Can I put pen to paper?

Or finger to keyboard?

Or even say the words inside my head?

Does it make it more real if I put these innermost thoughts to the public and let them have their say?

If my family ask me what's wrong?

If my followers like this post?

I can't tell.

But right now I need you all to know that there are secrets even my writing will not be privy to.

Sore spots that hurt my heart if I graze them.

Does that make me a bad writer?

Yet another question I cannot answer.

Maybe I should be pushing myself out of my comfort zone.

Maybe I should make myself cry from the truth of my words.

But writing is my safe space. How can I breach that level of trust with myself?

I don't know.

But I want you all to know that every single interaction I have had as a writer has kept me going.

Sometimes I'll see that you've connected with the emotions I put out there.

And that makes me happy!

Maybe I am writing correctly?

I don't know.

But it feels right.

And that's good enough for me.

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3 months agoReply
@stevewaldrop I'm glad you can relate! It's something I've been thinking about a lot these days

zmcstoriesGifted Writer^Instagram and Wattpad ^
3 months agoReply
@michaelschulze I agree! You have to do what you need to do.

stevewaldropBronze CommaStoryteller
3 months agoReply
This is quite similar to how I feel about my own writing. Some think I write fearlessly because of the feelings I pour into my words. They don't know that there are some things so deep that I can't even write about them.

3 months agoReply
You should always wright for the pleasure of writing if you have something you would like to share good if there are secrets you wish to keep. Keep them they are nobody's business but your own But it's still nice to see how the mind of a fellow writer works