So, I always knew I was different. I'm not sure what told me that exactly, but it was more of a feeling. My name is Zeph Roman Sorrow. I go by Roman most of the time.
But I'm 17 years old, soon to be 18. I'm very much looking forward to being a legal adult.
I grew up with two mothers. My mom is bisexual, but had a preference for women while I was growing up. My father was never in the picture, but that isn't the point.
I was born a female, but I identify as a male. I didn't know anything about this at first, but I learned as I grew older. I was 11 when I realized it.
I wanted to be called by a different name, and called He/Him. Again, I barely knew much about all of it, but I was curious.
Growing up, I was a tom boy, and always envious of my brothers. I wanted their clothes, short hair, cool friend groups..etc. I wanted to be one of them. So badly.
When I started to go by a different name, my mother expressed her discomfort with me. It didn't stop me though. She just assumed I was turning into a lesbian, which I wasn't.
Though, my interest in girls was coming out, that wasn't really the point.
As I got older, I came out as bisexual to my mother, and surprisingly, she didn't care that much.
She had broken up with her girlfriend and decided against dating women, but she let me do it if I wanted. She gave me hell sometimes though.
I was always wanting to go by a different name though. I'd catch myself mimicking guys, right down to their tone of voice and the way they talk...
I wanted to be one so badly, and I was terrified of telling my mother. I was afraid of what she'd say.
A year ago, I told her. It was an accident actually, but it happened. Note, months before this, I had finally convinced my mom to let me cut my hair because it was "more convenient".
I had asked my brother what he'd think if I would change from being his sister, into being his brother, which he'd said would be fucking awesome (I love him).
Anyways- He had apparently said something to my mom...and word spread that I was going by a different name and pronouns at school...oof.
She came to me in the kitchen, in front of my step dad and brothers, and shouted at me about how I was not a boy, and how I'd never be one.
How I am her daughter and how I am NOT going to be gay!! lmfao. I was heart broken at the time, simply because I just wanted her to love me.
But I tilted my head up high and said to her, "I don't care if you don't understand what I'm going through, or if you think it's a joke.
If you can't come to accept me for who I am by my 18th birthday, consider me gone."
I planned to leave everything behind, and I still do. My mother has yet to accept me for who I am. I'm soon to be 18...
But let me tell you something. No matter how many times I explained to my mother how I am not a girl, and how I like both girls and guys...she doesn't understand me.
She never will, and that is something I've come to accept.
But listen everyone. I have something to tell you.
I have begun my journey.
Monday, December7th , 2020...I had my first counseling appointment with the Transition counselor. That's right. I'm beginning my transition.
No matter how many people put me down and make me feel like shit for being who I am, I keep my head high and know that I can fucking do this. I WILL fucking do this.
With or without my friends and family. Because there are people out there just like me, who will love me for who I am.
So everyone out there who is just like me..This is my story.
I have started my Transition counseling, and will be going to see my counselor every Tuesday.
If you would like, I will happily keep you updated on the progress of things, as well as how the process works. Step by step. /comment down below if you are interested in hearing more!!!