Open Letter to the Guy I Secretly Admire


        Open Letter to the Guy I     
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zeeeeel
zeeeeel posting random thoughts
Autoplay OFF   •   a year ago

Open Letter to the Guy I Secretly Admire

I am afraid.

I am afraid. Afraid of the possibilities that awaits if I'll tell you I have already fallen deeply attached to you.

You told me you are afraid of commitment.

You told me you are afraid of commitment. You explained how she cheated on you twice.

You told me you are afraid of commitment. You explained how she cheated on you twice. I'm not expecting anything in return.

You told me you are afraid of commitment. You explained how she cheated on you twice. I'm not expecting anything in return. I'm not interested to you anyway.

But as you slowly expose yourself, little by little I'm starting to like you,

But as you slowly expose yourself, little by little I'm starting to like you, appreciate you,

But as you slowly expose yourself, little by little I'm starting to like you, appreciate you, as an individual,

But as you slowly expose yourself, little by little I'm starting to like you, appreciate you, as an individual, as a person,

But as you slowly expose yourself, little by little I'm starting to like you, appreciate you, as an individual, as a person, as a friend.

Never did I expect I'll get attached to you so hard that I'll be locked up in a cage they call...

Never did I expect I'll get attached to you so hard that I'll be locked up in a cage they call... LOVE.

We used to unexplainably match each other's interests mainly because maybe, we're both goal oriented.

We're both responsible individuals who aspire to achieve the highest attainable goal possible in our own fields.

We were two lost souls finding peace on another person's strengths.

I had fun.

I had fun. I found comfort.

I had fun. I found comfort. I felt the warmth and overjoyed just merely with your presence around.

But everything has it's ends.

I do not know what happened exactly.

I do not know what happened exactly. Fear consumed me.

I do not know what happened exactly. Fear consumed me. Different what if's keep on popping in my head.

What can I do?

What can I do? I am just a nobody and I am not in the right place to ask you what happened.

What can I do? I am just a nobody and I am not in the right place to ask you what happened. Hell, I didn't even know what are we in the first place.

You were never verbally expressive.

You were never verbally expressive. You always keep on giving me mixed signals. One moment you're mushy, another moment you're snob.

For the nth attempt did I tried to forget you.

For the nth attempt did I tried to forget you. Did I succeed?

No.

No. I'm trapped.

And I can't find the key to unlock this cage where I'm currently trapped in.

Only you can help me.

Only you can help me. Only you can save me.

We have to make things clear between us.

We have to make things clear between us. But overthinking's consuming me.

I am sorry if I cannot muster my courage to admit that I have fallen.

HARD.

I am afraid that the excitement we have for each other might suddenly turn into the exact opposite.

I am scared that my love won't be reciprocated.

I am fragile.

And I don't think I can bear the pain of rejection.

I guess I'll rot in this cage forever.

Unless there's this certain somebody who have the duplicate of the key you have.

And when that time comes, I hope I already got tired of loving you.

I hope I am able to entertain another person in my life.

Nevertheless, I am thankful for all the experiences we shared--

Nevertheless, I am thankful for all the experiences we shared-- the excitement,

Nevertheless, I am thankful for all the experiences we shared-- the excitement, the comfort,

Nevertheless, I am thankful for all the experiences we shared-- the excitement, the comfort, the agony,

Nevertheless, I am thankful for all the experiences we shared-- the excitement, the comfort, the agony, the pain.

When the right time comes and all expectations have died down,

When the right time comes and all expectations have died down, I hope I'm already courageous enough to unlock myself out of this trap.

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