My Fault
My Fault my fault stories
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writersince9
writersince9 Fiction writer, poetry and prose.
Autoplay OFF   •   a year ago
I'm still trying to tell myself that just because I've done bad things, doesn't make me a bad person.

My Fault

Everyone says that

it's not my fault.

I want to believe them,

I really do.

I was a boy trapped

in my own mind.

It seemed that I

loosened the chains,

but they still couldn't

break.

So who could blame me

when I found a way

to remove them, for now,

the bounds that held me

trapped inside my

own skin?

So who could blame me

when I found solace

in drugs and alcohol?

But yes,

you could blame me

for all that I had done

to hurt you,

betray you,

lose your trust

faster than I lost

my sanity.

To see the tears

in your eyes

when I lied again,

stole again,

cheated my way

through life

and lived a

complete and utter

lie,

I would give anything

to change all

that I had done,

because I don't care

how many soothing

reassurances I get,

the ones that say

I am sick

and not in control

of what I do;

Or maybe they're right,

and I'm just a

victim of an insidious

disease.

All that doesn't matter,

I'm still a liar,

a cheat,

a thief,

an apathetic shell

being fueled

by the forbidden

juices of the most

feared fruits.

If I had known

all the damage and

hurt that I would cause,

I would go back

in time

and tell myself

to never take that

first drink,

never try that

first hit,

because once you know

you can never forget,

and if you disagree

with everything else,

you must admit

that the continuation

in remaining comfortable

in my disease,

is in fact

my fault.

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