I want to matter.
It feels so selfish, and yet it still plagues my heart.
I promised myself I'd stop lying, that I'd finally let the true me show.
However, it's hard to keep promises that result in losing everything.
Everything I am isn't real.
I'm different to everyone, all for one reason:
I want to belong.
I want to be someone to them.
I want to be the person to make them laugh, the person to come to for advice.
I am so terrified of being left alone.
Spending my whole life pleasing them, convincing myself that it's the only way to keep people around.
I feel like such a burden,
And yet I can't let go.
I won't let anyone go.
I'll stay a few feet behind, watching people pass from a distance, rushing to keep up.
I want to belong by their sides.
So, the lies slip off my tongue so quickly that even I believe them.
Please, let me matter to you.
It seems I'm forgettable, and no one remembers my name.
I want to remain in someone's memory.
Should I have to constantly work to keep people around?
Should simply being me be enough to fit in?
...While this all sounds rather gloomy,
There is only one place I truly belong.
To everyone reading, I am simply words dancing across a screen, a faceless person with a keyboard.
So, thank you.
Thank you for reading, and thank you for letting me belong.