Dear Diary: Today I stole a little girl's backpack and found you in it. Gotta make use of you somehow.
Heh, I can only imagine how Mother would feel if she knew I've resorted to robbing little kids. I can't say if she'd be proud of my audacity, or disappointed in the meagerness of the pickings.
Well, she and Father taught me everything I know, so I can't be blamed for my lot.
Shame for the girl, but hey, you do what you have to do to survive, am I right? Damned splendid little conversationalist you are, huh? Never understood the appeal of these things.