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whispers
whispers Falling isn't fake, it's a feeling.
Autoplay OFF   •   2 months ago
Maybe a tiny bit over the word limit. A story about how I feel. If you need to stop yourself, that's okay. It scared me as well. I wrote this at like, 2:30 in the morning, so bear with me. It's an honor to share this with you, though.

Why.

I've pushed all that's happened to me aside

and lied.

About a lot of stuff.

I tell everybody that

I am fine.

I smile.

But my smiles are lies.

When will I ever get better?

I want to draw, but I can't draw to

save my life.

Do I want to save my life?

Or should I be dead already?

All the voices in my head are screaming

at me.

Blurry visions block the truth of

what I see.

I've always said these things

Are mild.

Or they are barely nothing.

Though it feels serious to me.

I hate insensitive jokes

about abuse,

loss of friends,

bullying.

These are all reasons

I hate myself.

Nothing has ever happened to me.

What the heck is wrong with me then?

You don't know me.

I shut everybody out.

No matter how much I tell you about me,

I will get defensive

and I will make sure to keep you away from

certain places

In my mind.

Places

That bring me

safety

and refuge.

Places that

are dangerous and

will hurt you.

You will never completely

know me.

I don't know how to

face people.

People,

My own kind,

have hurt me.

I am a person.

But sometimes

I feel like something else.

Why?

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