// victims of my mind //

Anger surges out of me

like an interminable river

who has finally figured out how

to open his floodgates.

he purges my brain,

and makes the otherwise

desert land into an illusion

of a beautiful ocean,

whose image looks so pristine,

that you couldn’t see the anger

mixed within him even if you tried.

he looks like a shallow,

beautiful shore,

just waiting for you

to wade into.

he waits

and waits

and waits

like a cat near a mousetrap,

until you are fully submerged,

to strike his prey that is you.

he drowns you

deprives you of all senses

for more than moments at a time,

then calms

allows you a breath of his air,

which is no longer fresh

but reeks of salt and burns your nostrils.

but no matter

how much it hurts to breathe,

no matter

how much it makes your lungs

want to capsize.

you take a long breath

in the short time

that you are allotted

for that simple undertaking.

even before your lips

can close in union,

already he pushes you underneath once more,

reminding you that

not only is he in charge of whether or not you die,

but he is also in charge of when.

and in means

of making you suffer,

he doesn’t hesitate

in prolonging the process,

in making sure

that he builds your hopes up,

before crashing them down on you,

over and over again,

until you are nothing but

the sand under your feet.

but you never give up,

not until your soul is no longer one

with your body,

and your body is no longer one with you,

but rather with the rest of the beautiful bodies

that line this beach,

in the image

of miles and miles

of beautiful sand.

i’m sorry for letting him out,

i should’ve tried to kept him in

for a bit longer.

but i was selfish

and i allowed

Anger to attack another innocent victim,

instead of myself.

no,

i don’t know how many lives

he’s taken,

but there is surely a lot of sand on the beach.

i’m sorry for letting him out,

not necessarily for letting him out at all,

but letting him out all at once.

if i learned how to let him out slowly,

and systematically,

like a steady rainfall,

i could have a beautiful rainforest

growing by now,

instead of the occasional ocean

among miles and miles

of a desert of the victims of my mind.