// life is different now //
// life is different now // monsters-under-your-bed stories
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weeklybrent
weeklybrent// you should be loving someone //
Autoplay OFF  •  19 days ago
// submission for the monsters under your bed contest //

// life is different now //

life is not the same after i came out.

life is different now that i know

that i will always be the disappointment in the family,

life is different now,

because it is not just some group of people

that you cannot stand,

it is also your own daughter.

i never put up with what you had to say about them

but now it is about us

and i suddenly forgot how to defend myself.

life is different now that i know i will never be enough for you.

life is different now that i ruined the future of the family.

life is different now

because you are talking about the family

that actually accepts me.

you are talking about the validity of my love,

not just theirs’,

it is different now.

because suddenly it is my fault that i left the door open

to the possibility of being normal

but i did not take it.

suddenly, it is my fault

that i ruined the idea

of walking down the aisle with the perfect man,

who asked for your permission,

whose kids i will have one day,

and who i will give up my future for.

who i am not sure even exists.

it is different now.

because it is suddenly not okay

because it is not just a kid,

but it is your kid.

because you were alright with it,

until it was your family,

it was fine,

until it hit too close to home.

life is different now,

i never know if i will come home to acceptance

or love

because suddenly those are two separate things.

and you loving me

no longer implies you accepting me

but i do not recall the separation of the two

and i am far too scared of what else will be separated soon.

life is different now,

because the monster was never under my bed,

he was tucking me in,

and singing me to sleep,

in attempt to silence my screams.

or just cover them up with his own.

life is different now,

because my love is no longer authentic,

nor accepted.

life is different now,

because i am finally coming out from under my covers

and from my closet,

but i am stronger than the last time you tucked me in,

louder than the last time you silenced me,

and more resilient than you would like me to be.

hello lovelies xx this is my submission for the monsters under your bed contest, i would really appreciate it if you would give it a like and give it a shoutout as well, so i can get as many votes as possible xx tysm for everything, more coming soon xx

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